The title of the post is taken from the title of the new book out which talks about home stylist B. Smith’s Alzheimer’s… a head injury which produced amnesia (much less romantically – or frequently – than it occurs in novels), Alzheimer’s Disease or senile dementia – these things were once what I feared the most in the world, because who am I without my brain? Without knowing ALL the things? But, watching my grandmother fade from the person I knew into someone with whom I was unfamiliar, hearing my friend S. tell me she doesn’t remember my name each week, but seeing her smile and shrug – and knowing that my assuring her that I remember my name is enough – I realize now that losing my memories doesn’t have to be the end of everything.
All around me are people who have, in their minds, lost out on things. Missed opportunities – I should have a better job now, lost out on relationships, lost out, lost. And I was thinking the other day how much happier I was than most people, because I could be truly contented at the privilege of reading in bed all afternoon. I don’t feel like I’ve lost anything, not really. I wish I’d had more of a social life in high school and college. I wish I’d traveled more than I have. I wish I were a better artist. But… that’s about it for regrets. And, those are fleeting. Fixable, mostly.
My word, I am as lucky as heck.
So, before I forget to mention it, thank you, world, for this morning. Thank you for how clear the sky was. Thank you for all the words in all the books that I can still read. Thank you that I get another chance.
While there’s life, there’s time. I haven’t lost anything.