Whew.
Thankfully, we made it! November has been a CHALLENGING month, but here we are, at the finish line of the final Friday, well-rested (in theory), full of leftovers (hopefully) and ready to celebrate the season with some more poetry.
Our theme this month was the last of our hindsight/foresight poems where we were meant to either revise an older poem, or respond to one, and …well. I tried really hard to actually write something to theme AND something positive and hindsight-y at the same time. I wholly missed the theme, but you’ll have to judge how well I did with the rest. I find that this year it has been ESPECIALLY hard to keep an upbeat tone when looking back – I can look back and see so many mistakes! – but I’m still standing. We’re still here. That’s worth gratitude, is it not?
So, as this bittersweet celebration weekend continues, I’m looking back over 2020, and remembering how it all began…
new year’s eve
the neighborhood awash in crashing booms
(we midnight sleepers sighing at the sound)
a new year – 2020 – on the loom
as Fate took a fresh thread and looped it ’round
the strutting idiot frets into the light
and bloviates while Nero’s fiddles play
“If we had known” and knowing that first night,
What act could change the outcome of today?
for here we stand – in ashes of the blaze
so many gone and countless lost to fear
not helpless – science battles this malaise
hold fast to faith – that we will persevere.
Gathered apart, our courage battle-scarred
With hard-won grace, with hope our honor guard.
Writing this Thanksgiving morning, I’ve been texting back and forth with my sisters, getting snaps of what they’re cooking, a bittersweet echo of our usual tradition. Thanksgiving has always been THE Davis Family holiday. We don’t really bother with any other holiday the same way the whole year ’round. And yet, a holiday, which we’ve been socialized to believe is about family and gratitude, has dark, bloodstained roots in normalizing indigenous genocide, pain and loss – which is obviously not to be celebrated. And yet – joy is a defiance of tragedy and days of peace and rest must be taken where they can be found. Every year we seek out more ways to bring this into balance – a history of tragedy and a present of loss, offset by family feasting. It’s a process, to be sure. May you, as you navigate what celebration, and what this particular celebration means to you and yours, find a way to put out the joy into the world that it needs while doing the right your heart – and this world – needs as well.
Want more poetry? Check out how Laura’s looking back. Sara’s wordsmithing is here, and here’s Liz’s. Find Michelle’s poem here, find Carol’s here, and here’s Tricia, too. Stay tuned for more Poetry Peeps checking in with their links. Meanwhile, Poetry Friday is hosted today at Carol’s Corner – with gratitude to book-talker and teacher, Carol!
This right here:
And yet – joy is a defiance of tragedy and days of peace and rest must be taken where they can be found. Every year we seek out more ways to bring this into balance – a history of tragedy and a present of loss, offset by family feasting. It’s a process, to be sure.
I have similar feeling about celebrating the fourth of July. We took away land and culture!
I love these two lines:
Gathered apart, our courage battle-scarred
With hard-won grace, with hope our honor guard.
@macrush53: YES!!! I’m grateful someone else resonates with my uneasy feelings about the 4th as well… I often think of the insistence of Langston Hughes’ quiet refrain: America never was America to me. Something not available to all is hard to celebrate as an “all.” And yet… there is joy and survival and fierce hope and defiant persistence to celebrate.
It’s all very much a process – a lot of thinking, processioning, and trying to get it right.
Thanks for your thoughtful words today.
What a tightly-woven summary you’ve provided here, Tanita. “It’s a process, to be sure,” and it will happen whenever we hold hands and walk forward. I appreciate your voice here on Poetry Friday.
Mary Lee and I spend time at NCTE realizing what a white space we are holding here and wondering how to go about unlimiting ourselves. Let us know if you have any energy to spare around that.
I have been mindful of our country’s past as I also celebrate this complicated holiday. So much to think about but I’ve been feeling hopeful with the changes that may begin with the election. Then there is so much work ahead.
@janicescully: Truly so much for us to do – but hope says we’re equal to the task. Thanks for stopping by!
You talked about opposites offsetting each other, Tanita, and I love “science battles this malaise /
hold fast to faith” for just that quality. And also “Gathered apart.” Great oxymoron, and truly what we must be. Hugs to you in this very different holiday!
@laurasalas: Once upon a time faith and science were not diametrically opposed. It would be great to someday, somehow get back there…
@cvarsalona: Happy Holiday Weekend! Thanks for taking part in the challenge!
I am currently reading/listening to CASTE by Isabel Wilkerson and I’m swamped/drowning/buried by the enormity of our country’s abominable history. Thank you for the reminder that hope can be our honor guard, that we can guard our honor, that we can/must veer away from the past and move forward in a new direction.
Thank you also for Serena! I love her voice and spirit and I’m so glad she’s in the world and in the hands of readers!
@Cousin MaryLee: one of the worst things about being inadvertently part of this country’s colonization efforts is being unable to dissent – but knowing all that was done in our names is important. It’s the only way we can respond with justice and honor in our own names, for our honor’s sake. I commend you on your hard reading – and on your fun reading, too. I’m so glad you enjoyed Serena!
The idiot fits perfectly in with histories story of Nero– do I detect a sonnet here… I think all the chaos that has transpired over this last year has brought us to where we are now, not necessarily whole but on a new and hopefully better path. Your poem really packs a wallop Tanita. Hoping for family reunions in the coming year. Thanks for the rich post, mention, and prompt!
@Michelle Kogan: I was heading towards a sonnet, but didn’t actually check my form rules so I can’t count this as one. Thanks for participating in the challenge, and happy autumn!
Totally agree with the other commenters. I entered this year with so much excitement and big plans for helping my twenty-something sons get their lives on track, somehow. And then COVID. And the “President.” And everything else that has gone down. Your last two lines pretty much capture where I am at today. Phew! Here’s to a better 2020!
@carwilc: It’s been such a long, strange trip… Here’s to holding onto hope with both hands.
Tanita, I thank you and the Poetry Sisters for always offering a challenge that is worthy of its name. I was caught up in your honesty-dripping post knowing that your words are deep-seated in many people’s minds. This question you posed is one for the ages. So many thoughts come to mind but we are here at the precipice of a new year, new administration (YEAH), and new thoughts.
“If we had known” and knowing that first night,
What act could change the outcome of today?”
We have lived a thousand lives in a but a short time – filled with precarious situations. Now, we are ready to “hold fast to faith – that we will persevere.” My post is ready after much thought on how to hold a conversation started a year ago when COVID-19 was not even a single thought in the universe. Happy Holiday Weekend!
I think that’s the hardest thing for me…wondering what COULD have been done. It made me feel helpless, at times, caught up in the sweep of a tide that wouldn’t turn. But together, now, we can go forward…that is my hope, my honor guard for 2021.
@saralewisholmes: Sometimes, wondering what could have changed is a lot like assigning blame. Sometimes the best thing to do is hold hands and walk forward… Away from the present moment and into a better one.
Hello Tanita & thanks for the Saint Julia Child smile at the very top:)
“hold fast to faith – we will persevere” is something to shout and also, to pray.
Appreciations for your foreshadowing of 2020 with your lyrical return to “new year’s eve”
Ms. Mare knocked on my big mailbox lid just before the Holiday & she’s with CIRCE, CASTE & a whole bunch of picture books. So much nourishing reading ahead in December.
Wishing your Sisters & you many more Sharings of these Seasons.
Jan/Bookseedstudio
https://bookseedstudio.wordpress.com/2020/11/23/thanksgiving-week-2020/
@bookseedstudio: Happy Reading! Thanks for coming by and sharing your beautiful blog post, too!