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Cambusbarron 047

Bit cold these mornings, but the light is lasting longer. My orchids – huzzah! – are blooming, and elsewhere bulbs are breaking through the frozen ground. We’re getting an early Spring, if we don’t manage to wash it away with all of the rain/freeze/thaw routine. Can hardly believe where January went – whoosh! up in a plume of smoke. Or, a plume of steam, anyway, since it’s the Year of the Water Dragon. And time keeps flowing like a river…


Not sure what to call this – process, procedure, a tally – but I wanted to toss out an update on my various projects. Sometimes it helps to get things written down on paper.

SFF novel – some pacing problems, rewriting the second half of it will proceed fairly soonish. Thanks for asking, to the people who did – I am still trying to get it out there! It’s a little harder, because SFF is a genre that intimidates a lot of people – including my agent, and the editor with whom I’ve worked with most frequently. I am a big old Trekkie nerd, but even I know that they didn’t talk more than gobbledygook science on that show – I wanted to write a novel and include some tantalizing snippets of current tech that’s in test or early-adapter versions right now. Of course, the need to include, you know, plot was somewhat problematic, but I’m hoping to have that one solved very soon.

Poetry? – I’ve received some queries from my Poetry Sisters asking, “Helloooo?” And yeah. When was the last time I put in sweat and effort to stick to a form and write a poem? It has been months – over a year, I’d say. It’s time to at least try again, but I don’t want to be the one to suggest the form, recalling the dismal failure of the sestinas I suggested. Oy. Someday I would like to tackle that form again, but in the meantime, I’m at least reading poetry again. And the sun is shining. Somehow, I think the two are somewhat related.

Mystery – Again, plot! Why can’t I just write really cool descriptions of, say, hobbies? I know, I know, this is what Technical Writers do, and I chose to write fiction. Okay. As I mentioned last week, the word count on this one is slooooow going, but so far the story arc is convincing, and everyone (in my writing group, anyway) is enormously confused as to whodunnit. That’s … maybe good, or may be a sign of my total inability to complete a coherent storyline. People are muttering about red herrings… which again could be good or completely horrific. There are a lot of strings to juggle; the important bit is getting them tied in a knot that doesn’t slip or leave anything dangling…!

Screenwriting junk – Still not quite clear on what we’re doing, and there’s a sort of juvenile wail that bubbles up periodically that says, “Why can’t I pay Screenwriter M to do this?” And there are sixteen hundred really good answers, mainly that a.) there is no project yet, this is the prework stuff and b.) M has A LIFE, and things to do and c.) I cannot afford M. M. is paid in gold-dipped rubies, and if this is not true, he should be paid in gold-dipped rubies. It’s just as well, though, in a way, that we’re at this project point, I’m not sure exactly how I feel about lit and film, and the intersection of said, so — it stays bubbling away as a team-writing project on a very distant back burner.

I’m even behind in my reading. “Behind” is kind of misplaced, maybe; it’s not as if I have it assigned still. But I usually like to review a couple of books a month I’m happy passing along, and I’ve had some snarls and snafus finding the Robert J. Sawyer book (WAKE, 2009) I was planning to review this month… February, it’s on writing up Code Name Verity, and trying to reacquaint myself with Net Galley. Each time I come away from the Cybils – and that enormous gobbling down of books – I’m sort of braindead for longer and longer times. Reading 143 books in two months will do that to you, I guess, but I wish it didn’t. Anyway. I’m coming back to myself, slowly, but I feel like I’m behind the curve. Reading is just as important as writing, and you must have both to keep the fiction wheels greased. So, onward the books!


Random Thoughtful Errata from Teh Interwebs:

“That said, I think that it’s outright dangerous to get so lost in our mission to combat bullying that we stop looking into the mirror. What are the norms that we set for young people when we talk poorly about our friends, family, neighbors, or colleagues at the dinner table? When we engage in road rage while driving? Why is it that we accept – if not encourage – meanness in our political sparring? Or on our TV talk shows? Why do marketers put their money behind reality TV shows that propagate the value of relationship drama as entertainment? Look around at the society we’ve created and it’s filled with harshness. To top it off, look at how much we pressure our youth, particularly middle class youth. Hyper-competition starts early and is non-stop. And look at how increased economic pressure in this country creates new tensions, particularly for working class youth. Then add in the fact that puberty is where all sorts of mental health issues start to appear. Where are the support structures for youth that go beyond the family? We’ve defunded social services left right and center.”

That piece of thought-y awesome is quoted from Danah Boyd’s blog, apophenia, wherein she talks about the things that matter to her. In this piece, it’s the anti-bullying movement, and all of those “it gets better” campaigns.

Confession: I really have no idea if it does. Get better, I mean. Life is difficult, and I have been guilty of becoming sardonic, especially when certain groups of people get together and make one of those videos for work: “From our office to you: it gets better!” – and it seems so… meh. I think, “O rlly? ‘It gets better’? Define “it,” please, that’s what Dr. Saxton always asked us to do in our advanced contemporary course. And how, exactly, are you making it better, or does “it” just “get” that way on its own??? I am being horrible and snide, here. There is genuine emotion behind a lot of this campaign, but there is also an undeniable jump-on-the-bandwagon vibe about the response that makes me cringe. Life is messy and chaotic and loud and fierce and hot, but one thing it is not nor ever will it be is simple, and in some ways, it seems like throwing out a catchphrase …oversimplifies. I am leery of choreographed caring, group hugs, and all of that. And that’s not fair. I know. I know. And that’s not even what Boyd is saying, but I got to thinking…. To get back to her point – It’s usually assumed that various “movements” within the online world are something special. Memes are tiny movements, the Occupy thing started as another small movement, the SOPA/PIPA shutdown yet another. Ever read For The Win, by Cory Doctorow? Movements. The interwebs are full of them. Yet, not all of them are that great. We have to learn the difference between social media, and actually being, you know, social. Socializing. Reaching out past a screen… What does it profit a (hu)man to gain access to the world, and lose their own souls?

Scientific American is one of my favorite magazines, mainly because it’s like Popular Mechanics was in the fifties: making science kind of pop-culture accessible to the masses. It’s maybe not the most deeply theoretical magazine, but it has nice pictures, yes? I like National Geographic for the same reason. Anyway. I find that I, without much thought, collect articles and quotes on being an introvert. Yes, I am indeed trying to solidify my position, and maybe a part of me is rationalizing and wanting chapter-and-verse stuff that says, “See? See!? I am too normal!”

But, we all know that sadly (*oh, waily waily*), I am not. Alas, that is my burden to bear.

A fellow introvert has asked me to point out that I am JOKING, and not truly falling into the trap of Introvert = Bad, as our culture is so extrovert-centric, and many people even believe that GOD wants us to be always smiling and sharing, and that when we don’t, we are wrong. *BUZZER SOUNDS* Wrong answer! States of being, like emotions, are neither right nor wrong. Enjoying spending time alone is neither bad nor good, it simply is. Silence and internal time is the way some creative people process and recharge. That is all. No judgment, not even in jest.

May I share that this fellow introvert has now a room with a single chair in it, just for me? A room with a view, Virginia, is overrated without the chair…

Anyway, I was happy to read new research on how introverts throughout history were the ones who Thought the Big Thoughts. In the animal world, I was amused that introverts don’t get eaten. (Conversely, they usually starve to death in a barren place because Going Further Afield to seek food seems like, I dunno, other animals might look at them, or something.) Our general beating-ourselves-up-for-not-being-social nature comes from a little throbbing in our brains, of all things. I really want to read the book – but I wouldn’t want the author’s book tour schedule. Twenty-one interviews IN ONE DAY?! Holy moley, that is not even remotely good for an introvert, or anyone. Yikes.

I am a big fan of aquariums. I am NOT a big fan of slugs as much. But. These gastropods combine the best of several cool things. A must see, indeed.

And that’s me on a Monday, back to my slightly brain-dead usual state.

{breathing space}

Painting Apron

I doodle. I’m a color-er and a sketcher and a person who writes cartoon bubbles above underwear models in catalogs. If it’s been a long time between artistic endeavors – even the goofy ones like making my own comics from the sale pages – then I know that something deep down is Off and my switches need to be flipped. Random artwork is the surest way to tell that my brain is re-engaging, in balance, and ready to work.

2012 has started with a fairly solid thump – some painful things to deal with, and some typical events I have to deal with all the time re-emerging just in time to start the year off right, all of which interferes with the writing. If you’re a person for whom writing is a transcendent and spiritual journey, these sorts of things can take a real toll. If you’re a person for whom writing is a job, and sometimes you have to punch in and do your best with your eyes bloodshot and half-mast, with your breakfast on your shirt, with salt tracks staining your cheeks, and when you’re feeling like something someone stepped in — well. You know how it goes.

If no one minds, I’d like to cast a vote for starting a new year in September – officially. All of that lovely sunshine and leaf-turning surely breathes new life into a body. Why we celebrate with champagne and fireworks when all is gray and dark and grim… oh. Well. The Deep Dark certainly explains why it is that we make a fuss at the New Year – or at least, one of many reasons. But, let’s find another reason to celebrate, and just start the year in September, yes? I mean, crisp, blue skies, fresh days at school… Yes. So, this isn’t the new year, this is just the bottom of the seasons; much like the bottom of the barrel, we’re scraping along, finding a lot of splinters in with our provisions. And still we move on. Our brains re-engage. The orchids bloom, the snowdrops show a green half-inch above the ground, and Life Goes On.

The cue to me that all will be well is art. When I can make it again, I know I’ll be able to breathe. I’ve been doing a little bit of beading, a little bit of knitting, and a bit of painting. This rather benign looking squash will end up with “Veggie Diva” in lights behind it and with an orange feather boa across its backside – well, as much backside as a butternut squash might ostensibly possess. And with bright red lips and glitter mascara… Well. These things happen to veg, usually well out of our sight.

Glass Painting 4

There are long-term projects afoot, things for which I’ve had to learn new vocabulary such as “beat sheet” and “production breakdown” and that sort of thing – confusing and frustrating and fairly scary, but challenging in a tentatively positive way. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m not sure how much of a difference that will make in the long run. I’m trying to stay in a very Zen and Que Sera kind of place on this one: what will be, will be, what is intended will be. Om.

Despite feeling like each word is being pulled from beneath a twenty-two ton rhino who is happily reclining and has no intention of even shifting for my benefit, my novel is moving along. Sloooowly. But moving, and with no major false steps that I can sense. Progress is being made. In honor of it being the year of the dragon, I will turn my fire toward creativity (not blow it on anyone), and keep the flame of originality in my work.

What about you? Are you knitting? Painting? Throwing pots? Making beads? Making pretzels? Frying doughnuts? (Are you going to argue with me about the definition of art vs. craft? You could, but then neither of us would be creating.) If you have twenty-five minutes and a needle, there’s surely a simple project you can embroider over at Wendi Gratz’s blog. Let your creativity fly! It might take you awhile to finish anything, but art gives your hands something to do while your brain works out all of the details of what’s supposed to happen next. Happy week.♥

{you will always be/ my necessity/ I’d be lost without you}

Technically, songs aren’t quite poetry, but …technicality is the only separation between the two. I have a feeling that I’ve covered this song for Poetry Friday before, but I woke up with it stuck in my head again, so you’re getting it again. That’s what good poetry does, anyway – it makes itself at home in your head, like the refrain from a song, and you’re treated to it again, and again, and again.

I think the funniest thing I’ve gotten from the many PBS shows I watched in my life … a soundtrack of Very Old Songs. After watching Ken Burns’ Horatio’s Drive I hummed He’d Have To Get Out (And Get Under)… a song that was written in 1913 about an EDSEL. (Yeah, I know.) After watching the hilarious shorts on Posh Nosh, I found that I loved the Chieftan’s rowdy Celtic dance version of The Raggle Taggle Gypsy Boy (the second link is Posh Nosh’s version, which is, in keeping with the show, exceedingly highbrow).

The Mrs. Bradley Mystery series was fabulous – because Diana Rigg in anything – absolutely anything – is wonderful. She’s like a sharper-tongued and better dressed (ohh, the clothes!) version of Miss Marple – and the series theme song is by far my favorite. Written in 1928 for a play called Hold Everything! “You’re the Cream in my Coffee” was covered by Nat King Cole and other 40’s-50’s greats as well. While the modern London Orchestra version is snappy and fast, I find that I prefer the 1928 original.

Makes you want to learn to swing dance, huh?

YOU’RE THE CREAM IN MY COFFEE

~ From the show “Hold Everything” (1929)
(B.G. DeSylva / Lew Brown / Ray Henderson)

You’re the cream in my coffee,
You’re the salt in my stew;
You will always be my necessity–
I’d be lost without you.

You’re the starch in my collar,
You’re the lace in my shoe;
You will always be my necessity–
I’d be lost without you.

Most men tell love tales,
And each phrase dovetails.
You’ve heard each known way,
This way is my own way.

You’re the sail of my love boat,
You’re the captain and crew;
You will always be my necessity–
I’d be lost without you.

You give life savor,
Bring out its flavor;
So this is clear, dear,
You’re my worcestershire, dear.

You’re the sail of my love boat,
You’re the captain and crew;
You will always be my necessity–
I’d be lost without you.

I think I like the song so much because it’s silly, and reminds me of one we sang at summer camp: You are such a pumpkin… you are such a squash… you are my zucchini and I love you, so very much. Yep. Sometimes love is just about your squash and your salt – just the things you can’t do without. (Well, technically, I could do without zucchini, but what’s life without chocolate-zucchini bread? I ask you.)

It’s Poetry Friday, and non-theme song related poetry might be found over at A Teaching Life. Or you might find more of the same, who knows. Happy Friday. May you have a stress-free weekend, such as I plan to have, surrounded by those you love. Hold on to your necessities.

{with apologies to Remy Charlip}

Some of you might have noticed that I removed a blog post recently. There is a reason why.

In times of heartache and stress, we once again turn to children’s literature, which indeed has all of the answers needed in the world without a lot of messy and/or insensitive details you don’t need. Indeed, everything you needed to know in life, you learned in Kindergarten, right? So, without further ado, I submit to you, FORTUNATELY. With serious apologies to Remy Charlip.

Fortunately, I got to see the world…

Unfortunately, the world was five thousand miles away from much of my family and all of my friends.

Fortunately, absence is sometimes okay, I made new friends, and technology made the distances shorter.

Unfortunately, when people you love leave this world, there’s no technology which can ever span this distance.

Fortunately, my gran, Madea had a good, long life, and when I,

Unfortunately, heard on Sunday night that she had died, I was very sad, but okay with it. Well, as okay with it as when you lose your last remaining grandparent and you’re so heartsick you can’t really cry, and you’re thinking yet again that it was a mistake to go away, no matter how fun it has been, and how selfish was it to think that you shouldn’t be living right next door to your Mom and Dad, and what were you thinking, going away when people needed you, and then, you get a message the next morning from your sister that…

Fortunately, MADEA HADN’T REALLY DIED. The doctor had just been too busy or too impatient or too disinterested or

Unfortunately, too ignorant, having the brain of a nematode living in sewage-infested drain, and unable to parse out those subtle differences between “dead” and “alive,” even with all the equipment hooked up.

Fortunately, Dea was able to wake up and respond to questions.

Unfortunately, this incident has sent our entire family in the last two days on a traumatic emotional roller coaster from Hades, not to mention the effect on, me, far away. The strain has been unspeakable. This seriously puts the mal in malpractice.

Fortunately, our Dea is alive. We must keep repeating this part.

Unfortunately, I would like to kick the doctor who did this hard, in the shins, wearing my ‘kickers. ‘Kickers are boots. I could say more. I will not.

Fortunately, Dea is alive. Say it again, it’s the important part of the story.

Unfortunately, everybody dies. And,

Fortunately, everybody dies.

But, not today.

Thank you, so very sincerely, to you dear friends who sent condolences. I will keep all such outpourings of affection and love to spackle the cracks which have so recently appeared in my psyche. I will also remember that the title of this book is Fortunately, not the opposite, and make that my word of the week.

Wishing you sanity…

{blow, blow thou winter wind}

Hayford Mills 221 BW

Thanks, to all of my dear friends who emailed and asked about us. Yes – twelve hours without power, and a lovely and haunting looking 1840’s building was “remodeled” by the wind at the end of our street, but we’re fine. The weather vanes, downspouts, and all accompanying are somehow still on our building, when the vast majority of our neighbors have lost theirs. Our tree is even still up, while branches are stacked and saws are whining into the night as people are trying to still clear wood. Our deck – on the third floor, up two flights of stairs, mind you, is, weirdly, flooded. But, we’re still here!

Hayford Mills 223