{with apologies to Remy Charlip}

Some of you might have noticed that I removed a blog post recently. There is a reason why.

In times of heartache and stress, we once again turn to children’s literature, which indeed has all of the answers needed in the world without a lot of messy and/or insensitive details you don’t need. Indeed, everything you needed to know in life, you learned in Kindergarten, right? So, without further ado, I submit to you, FORTUNATELY. With serious apologies to Remy Charlip.

Fortunately, I got to see the world…

Unfortunately, the world was five thousand miles away from much of my family and all of my friends.

Fortunately, absence is sometimes okay, I made new friends, and technology made the distances shorter.

Unfortunately, when people you love leave this world, there’s no technology which can ever span this distance.

Fortunately, my gran, Madea had a good, long life, and when I,

Unfortunately, heard on Sunday night that she had died, I was very sad, but okay with it. Well, as okay with it as when you lose your last remaining grandparent and you’re so heartsick you can’t really cry, and you’re thinking yet again that it was a mistake to go away, no matter how fun it has been, and how selfish was it to think that you shouldn’t be living right next door to your Mom and Dad, and what were you thinking, going away when people needed you, and then, you get a message the next morning from your sister that…

Fortunately, MADEA HADN’T REALLY DIED. The doctor had just been too busy or too impatient or too disinterested or

Unfortunately, too ignorant, having the brain of a nematode living in sewage-infested drain, and unable to parse out those subtle differences between “dead” and “alive,” even with all the equipment hooked up.

Fortunately, Dea was able to wake up and respond to questions.

Unfortunately, this incident has sent our entire family in the last two days on a traumatic emotional roller coaster from Hades, not to mention the effect on, me, far away. The strain has been unspeakable. This seriously puts the mal in malpractice.

Fortunately, our Dea is alive. We must keep repeating this part.

Unfortunately, I would like to kick the doctor who did this hard, in the shins, wearing my ‘kickers. ‘Kickers are boots. I could say more. I will not.

Fortunately, Dea is alive. Say it again, it’s the important part of the story.

Unfortunately, everybody dies. And,

Fortunately, everybody dies.

But, not today.

Thank you, so very sincerely, to you dear friends who sent condolences. I will keep all such outpourings of affection and love to spackle the cracks which have so recently appeared in my psyche. I will also remember that the title of this book is Fortunately, not the opposite, and make that my word of the week.

Wishing you sanity…

11 Replies to “{with apologies to Remy Charlip}”

  1. That’s really…something. On one hand, I guess you’ve been given a rare opportunity to assess the great impact of your grandmother on your life, to try to sum up her amazing personality in a few words. And I guess you can SAY all of that to her now.

    But really, what an unconscionable emotional torture that doctor put everyone through! It reminded me of that old joke: What do you call the guy who graduates at the bottom of his medical class?

    “Doctor.”

  2. Tanita, such happy (but strange) news. I’m very glad to know your gran is alive. As for the doctor, what a woeful mistake. The mind boggles! I can hardly imagine the emotional rollercoaster you’ve been through.

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