Have You Tried Consulting Our Ouija Board?
Bookseller in children's department: Can I help you find anything?
Mother: Has C.S. Lewis written anything new lately?
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
via Overheard in the Office, Jun 30, 2009
Have You Tried Consulting Our Ouija Board?
Bookseller in children's department: Can I help you find anything?
Mother: Has C.S. Lewis written anything new lately?
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
via Overheard in the Office, Jun 30, 2009
Have You Tried Consulting Our Ouija Board?
Bookseller in children's department: Can I help you find anything?
Mother: Has C.S. Lewis written anything new lately?
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
via Overheard in the Office, Jun 30, 2009
Last week, I got a note from a mom which made me smile. Her daughter was hurt when a classmate planned a party and said, rather off-handedly, “by the way, you can come if you want.”
Dude. Been there. Felt that.
But what brought me to a chuckle — albeit a sort of clutch-my-heart-almost-teary-eyed chuckle — was what she said about it. She told her mother, she “felt like Lainey when Sim treated her like an afterthought.”
!!!
That was the coolest writer-compliment ever.
Thanks, L., for making my characters live and breathe at your house. And don’t let the dorks get you down. We all do dorktastic things from time to time, but the good news is, most of the time, people don’t mean to be rude like that. Also, next party you throw? You’ll be the soul of awesome to everyone, because you remember how that feels.
Last week, I got a note from a mom which made me smile. Her daughter was hurt when a classmate planned a party and said, rather off-handedly, “by the way, you can come if you want.”
Dude. Been there. Felt that.
But what brought me to a chuckle — albeit a sort of clutch-my-heart-almost-teary-eyed chuckle — was what she said about it. She told her mother, she “felt like Lainey when Sim treated her like an afterthought.”
!!!
That was the coolest writer-compliment ever.
Thanks, L., for making my characters live and breathe at your house. And don’t let the dorks get you down. We all do dorktastic things from time to time, but the good news is, most of the time, people don’t mean to be rude like that. Also, next party you throw? You’ll be the soul of awesome to everyone, because you remember how that feels.
All of June I’ve been enjoying Kelly’s Brush Up Your Shakespeare month at Writing & Ruminating, and last week, Kelly invited us to join her by posting our favorite sonnet (if you want to win something, you have until midnight on the 30th to post your own). I meant to do this last week, but I kind of choked. Because I had the 130th Sonnet read at my marriage celebration (the party thing that happened after that Tuesday at the skateboard park with the justice of peace and Tech Boy), I can hear it, in my mind’s ear… read in the sonorous tones of one of my favorite English professors, Prof. I., who died June 30th, five years ago now, from a massive heart attack.
He was tall and thin and gentle, soft-spoken, with a profoundly bass voice like Isaac Hayes; he was a jazz pianist, sang a capella barber shop quartet and headed the bass section of the symphony chorus. He taught English lit and poetry and film criticism, and was possessed of a devastatingly dry wit. He was a very dear friend. As with many of those friendships one has with teachers they admire, there was a lot I never was able to put into words, so his loss is especially painful. I haven’t really wanted to post this sonnet. But I will. Because I loved him, and love him still, and because he was in on the joke of this sonnet more than anyone I know, and could laugh at the assumptions people made about love louder than anyone.
THE 1609 QUARTO VERSION
130
MY Miſtres eyes are
nothing like the Sunne,
Currall is farre more red, then her lips red,
If ſnow be white,why then
her breſts are dun:
If haires be wiers, black wiers grow on her head:
I haue ſeene Roſes damaskt, red and white,
But no ſuch Roſes ſee I in her cheekes,
And in ſome perfumes is there more delight,
Then in the breath that from my Miſtres reekes.
I loue to heare her ſpeake, yet well I know,
That Muſicke hath a farre more pleaſing found:
I graunt I neuer ſaw a goddeſſe goe,
My Miſtres when ſhee walkes treads on the ground.
And yet by heauen I thinke my loue as rare,
As any ſhe beli’d with falſe compare.
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
One of the faculty at the small liberal arts college I attended threw a SuperBowl party, and Professor I. and his wife dragged me along — ostensibly to watch the Halftime Show, as the rest of the time they both graded papers. Mrs Ms. I had gone when the hostess of the party, giggly and nervous, approached us and asked if she could touch our hair. Honestly, I don’t know what she’d been drinking, but when I saw how graciously Professor I. inclined his head to her touch, I shrugged and submitted as well. “It’s so soft,” the woman marveled, and I thought, “Is this really 1995? Really? How could she get all the way to adulthood without having one friend who would let her touch their hair?” When she had gone away, the professor gave me such a droll look, I couldn’t help but giggle – not at the woman, but at the situation. It was surreal… and perfectly normal, really. Sure, touch my hair. What else are friends for?
If snow be white, why then, her breasts are dun.
There was a scandal — probably closer to the year I was born — when this professor married a former student. Okay, they dated for nine years and unless she was a significantly slow learner, by then she was no longer his student. And they waited about that same length of time to have their first child, so all of the rumors surrounding the reasons for the marriage were just that — rumors. The fact remains that it was an interracial marriage, and his statuesque blonde wife was what really set the tongues of malice wagging.
Ages and eons and decades later, in the same small-town college, I met my future partner on the back row of an English class, where we were both avoiding the earliness of the hour, and the loudness of the professor’s voice. The tall white dude with all the earrings and the opinions and the black trench coat was nothing like quiet, brown, studious me. Once again the tongues of malice wagged, and professors with whom I didn’t even have classes cautioned me not to get “distracted,” that all-pervasive euphemism for “don’t get involved.” Professor I., quiet and unassuming, invited this scary-smart guy into his office, and his classes and his home, where he and his wife offered their friendship with bottomless cups of coffee and movie nights. He kept his quiet amusement throughout the small-town drama that followed, wherein Tech Boy’s parents made noises about disowning him — a good old Southern heritage soon to be sullied by little old me. It was surreal, and once again, Professor I. made us laugh, and softened the jagged edges while he and his wife regaled us with stories of their own relationship. He was the obvious choice to read at our celebration.
I grant I never saw a goddess go,
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
Like the “mistress” described, Professor I. “walked on the ground.” Lord, his office was a disaster, he could never throw anything away, and working for him as his TA was an adventure — and an exercise in futility. He returned papers late, and the end of the semester was always a huge rush. The other TA’s and I would collapse on the floor of the TA room and just groan at all the work we’d put in, work we knew we would have to put in again next term. The man just couldn’t get organized to save his soul. But we loved him like we loved few others.
And yet by heaven, I think my love as rare,
As any she belied with false compare.
~ by Joyce Huff
All of the saints starved themselves.
Not a single fat one.
The words “deity” and “diet” must have come from the same
Latin root.
Those saints must have been thin as knucklebones
or shards of stained
glass or Christ carved
on his cross.
Hard
as pew seats. Brittle
as hair shirts. Women
made from bone, like the ribs that protrude from his wasted
wooden chest. Women consumed
by fervor.
They must have been able to walk three or four abreast
down that straight and oh-so-narrow path.
They must have slipped with ease through the eye
of the needle, leaving the weighty
camels stranded at the city gate.
Within that spare city’s walls,
I do not think I would find anyone like me.
Find the rest of this weighty poem here. Poetry Friday this week is at Kelly’s, who is just back from her UK tour. Check her out at the Crossover Blog.
~ by Joyce Huff
All of the saints starved themselves.
Not a single fat one.
The words “deity” and “diet” must have come from the same
Latin root.
Those saints must have been thin as knucklebones
or shards of stained
glass or Christ carved
on his cross.
Hard
as pew seats. Brittle
as hair shirts. Women
made from bone, like the ribs that protrude from his wasted
wooden chest. Women consumed
by fervor.
They must have been able to walk three or four abreast
down that straight and oh-so-narrow path.
They must have slipped with ease through the eye
of the needle, leaving the weighty
camels stranded at the city gate.
Within that spare city’s walls,
I do not think I would find anyone like me.
Find the rest of this weighty poem here. Poetry Friday this week is at Kelly’s, who is just back from her UK tour. Check her out at the Crossover Blog.
The Hymn of a Fat Woman
Joyce Huff
All of the saints starved themselves.
Not a single fat one.
The words “deity” and “diet” must have come from the same
Latin root.
Those saints must have been thin as knucklebones
or shards of stained
glass or Christ carved
on his cross.
Hard
as pew seats. Brittle
as hair shirts. Women
made from bone, like the ribs that protrude from his wasted
wooden chest. Women consumed
by fervor.
They must have been able to walk three or four abreast
down that straight and oh-so-narrow path.
They must have slipped with ease through the eye
of the needle, leaving the weighty
camels stranded at the city gate.
Within that spare city’s walls,
I do not think I would find anyone like me.
I imagine I will find my kind outside
lolling in the garden
munching on the apples
Has it seemed to anyone else like it has been one long Monday for the last two weeks? To date, I have heard from two friends with partners with cancer, one friend with a relative going into hospice, two friends whose parent has died, and two buddies whose finances have gone up in smoke, due to the completely unhinged world financial situation. Friends are making decisions about their health, about moving, and finding jobs; are scrambling to keep businesses open, and yet they are talking, still taking the time to say, “I’m still here, trying to deal, how are you?”
That they deal so gracefully with their trauma and stress makes me slightly ashamed of my mental histrionics. When I read this poem, I thought of them, my very brave friends:
by Miller Williams
Some of what we do, we do
to make things happen,
the alarm to wake us up, the coffee to perc,
the car to start.
The rest of what we do, we do
trying to keep something from doing something,
the skin from aging, the hoe from rusting,
the truth from getting out.
With yes and no like the poles of a battery
powering our passage through the days,
we move, as we call it, forward,
wanting to be wanted,
wanting not to lose the rain forest,
wanting the water to boil,
wanting not to have cancer,
wanting to be home by dark,
wanting not to run out of gas,
(Read the rest of this poem here.)
Dear friends, I wish you magic, for all the things you have wanted, for all the things you’ve done to keep something from happening, or to make things happen. I wish you answers and course corrections and with the wave of a wand — or the whisper of prayers — results. May you all have what you need.
SF Signal is so very cool. This week, they’ve asked multicultural science fiction writers to speak up about what’s going on in their countries, sff-wise, and it’s really refreshing to hear that question asked. We have so many huge traditions and a sort of canon in science fiction and fantasy that is …strictly Anglophone — the whole Arthurian cycle, the Round Table and all of that is Eurocentric to the extreme. So, what do other countries envision when they dream of the great “what if?” I deeply appreciate SF Signal for taking the trouble to …ask.