Right, so, awhile back, at the beginning of last month, I did a Thing that I hope to not do again.
I foolishly left the ground.
At a ridiculous hour in the morning.
I do not LIKE leaving the ground. Leaving the ground seems Bad.
I do not like leaving the ground in great leaps on diving boards. I do not like leaving the ground in a sealed metal tube with hundreds of other people and their recirculated germs. I do not like leaving the ground in high heeled shoes, much less on high wicker platforms, so one does wonder, indeed wonder what possessed me to think that a ginormous piece of nylon filled with
fire air was going to be a great plan for leaving the ground.
It was NOT a great plan. It was — nauseating like you would not believe.
Okay, I am Being Told that I am not being fair. I did not eat breakfast, because Nerves. I did not think about blood sugar, or putting a granola bar in a handy pocket, because Nerves. I did not drink enough water, because where is there a bathroom up there? Also, Nerves. And then, there was, to exacerbate things, Altitude. We went up fast. And then, looked at airplanes. With low blood sugar and the shakes and a dry throat and 2 million (only slight exaggeration) degrees Kelvin blowtorch above your head, Things Might Not Go Well.
They do not tell you that it is LOUD – that blowtorch again. They do not tell you that it is HOT. You feel like your head is being crisped. (Also helpful for lightheadedness, nausea, low blood sugar, and altitude sickness. VERY helpful. Not.) It is intense and — just a LOT. But, then, there are REALLY cool things. Like the sharp-edged morning light making the most amazing shadows. Like watching sheep moving, far, far away. Seeing a woman in her bathrobe waving frantically up at you as you float away. Dropping tiny flowers and seeing them catch the wind and turn — and disappear before you see them hit the ground. Blowing bubbles at some thousand feet in the air — and watching them last, sliding bright in the frictionless air, and last, and last. No flies up there – or butterflies — or bees. Just you and the still air, and no wind.
Okay, some of it was cool. It was kind of amazing. We were blessed to be able to do something that is usually really stupid expensive and just-for-when-we-have-out-of-country-guests and nothing like I ever got to do when I was a kid, for darned sure. So, yeah, okay. It was …breathtaking, in a number of different ways.
But, I’m still not going back up there.