The title of this post comes from an Ursula Vernon comment – “I was alive, and I am still alive, and since I am not inclined to die just yet, I will keep going. Out of love and spite, in equal measure.” Love and spite, in equal measures.
This made me wonder how much of my life was balanced between such unlike things; love and spite. Persistence and schadenfreude. Sturm und drang. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my religious upbringing, and how much that was based on meekness and obedience… and how much those two things aren’t actually the entirety of my character. There is a such thing as being too meekly obliging, too blindly obedient. I have been those things, too. And I find myself wondering what a faith practice looks like that isn’t blind and silent, like justice is purported to be. If Justice took off the blinders and spoke, what would that be like?
It feels like the whole world is poised to change. I could have done without 2016, in so, so many ways… but I guess I’m grateful to be witnessing this time in history, a time of love and spite, in fact, ebbing and surging, each day, in waves. Like a living pendulum, act and reaction are sloshing each back and forth, and change is being made.