WHOO HOO! DONE.
My buddy Robin cracked me up the other day, pointing out Meg Cabot’s hilarious little post about… book licking. Book licking takes place when… an author… can’t let their manuscript go. They keep licking tiny little things, lingering tastefully over word choices and tiny, nonessential details, and it takes them three months longer than it should have to simply relinquish the manuscript to their editor or agent so that it can leave their slobbery little clutches, and get started on the next step in the publishing process.
Since I don’t actually *do* that…
Okay, fine. So my nose is growing. Whatever.
Today, it was so bad that I even lingered over the cover letter.
I wanted to scream: See what I’m trying to do here. See that I am scared to death, but want to treat this topic respectfully. See that I am going outside of my usual thought process, and love it. Love ME. Please! Please!
You didn’t think writers were well-adjusted and normal, did you?
Wait, you did? My bad.
So, now knowing that I have finished The Work of 
Current Progress, I have to get myself a token of appreciation. My appreciation should be in the form of letting up on the bread and taking a few brisk walks, but let’s ignore that for now. My gift to myself was The Boots.
Glasgow is the boot capital of …probably Scotland. Although Edinburgh is arguing fitfully about that, and St. Andrews is looking suitably well dressed and snooty. At any rate. The West End is the capital of snazzy looking boots in the city, all right? By this I mean, there are more than the typical downtown stiletto and the furry student Ugg going on. I have seen some really cool boots, and I have promised myself I would find something a little dressier than the Postman boots I have (Yes. They’re waterproof to eight inches, which, in Scotland is crucial, and neither rain nor snow nor sleet… blah, blah blah. The problem is, they look kind of ridiculous with a skirt).
Unfortunately, I had not counted on The Ridiculous Calves.
I have Ridiculous Calves. I love them, most days; they hold me up, they connect ankle and thigh: these are good things. I do NOT like trying to put them into boots. I have hyper-huge calf muscles, and super-thin ankles. Think bowling pins, okay? Almost every boot I find which fits one part refused to fit the other. So, though we have photographic proof that I did indeed try on the Cool Boots of Multi-buckle Destiny… they didn’t work. Destiny says I need something that fits better in the heel, doesn’t pouch around the ankles and practically cut off circulation around the calf.
Bummer.
On the other hand, what an incentive! Since I have another novel to revise, as well as a new one to work on — chances are I can buy two pair of boots if I can’t find anything I like to reward myself for finishing THIS novel.
Self-bribery has its privileges!