{fiction, instead of lies}

Yet another pseudo-celeb is on my $@#% list — but in a funnier way than usual. My girls at Mean & Catty are reporting that everyone and his dog is publishing children’s books. Seriously. I’d laugh, but then I’d have to laugh at everyone else crowding the field. I mean, it wasn’t just Tookie, people. John GOTTI tried. Geez. Some of it is really worthwhile writing. But a lot of it…

As Jane Yolen was quoted as saying, “Celebrity children’s books eat up all the available oxygen.” I’m going to add to that, and say that oxygen deprivation usually leads to brain damage. The idea of the money that could be made is obviously blowing many editor’s minds.

I think it’s time to revisit the meaning of the word ‘fiction.’ Seriously.

Is it just me, or does anyone else just completely not care about the lying literary person of JT Leroy?? Every time something like this comes up it just cements for me the reasons I only write YA fiction. Because truly? I just don’t really get so-called adults.

Literature is about becoming someone else, albeit briefly, to tell a story, and since we all know that stories are not always factual, and that this Leroy person has been deliberately murky on his/her story from the first, it’s obviously a publicity stunt/spin, and the “mystery” doesn’t merit as much ink as it has been given. All writers are liars, and all of us constantly don myriad personas to see how they fit. Of course, most of us don’t try taking our personas outside to party with them, (Maybe that’s an adult lit. thing. I’ve managed to get over the fact that I’m not sixteen.) but… either way, it just seems like a great, big, DUH that Leroy doesn’t and never did exist. And the question du jour is: SO!?

Meanwhile literary lying continues. The Smoking Gun is allegedly outing another writer on the details of his last book. James Frey’s, “A Million Little Pieces, an Oprah Book Club pick, has been disputed by several sources. I guess could appear to be a lot more serious, since the novel was written and marketed as a memoir, which is supposed to be completely autobiographical. If I were his editor and found that his story had conflicting police reports, I’d kick myself in the butt for not checking before it was printed and the movie rights were optioned. As for whether Frey is yet another liar? — his novel is a story about himself based on his memories of a time (and during that time Frey was allegedly a drug addict. Hello?). Talk to any family members about a past memory and you’ll find that no one agrees on what happened exactly, because everyone’s point of view differs. Frey’s reflecting on his life events rather than actually getting them down factually certainly blurs the genre lines, but does anyone believe that everything that Dave Eggers or David Sedaris write in their witty little memoirs actually happened that exactly as they say? Maybe that’s what all of this is about: drama, because if one person’s word is questioned, then it calls into question the work of the ‘literary giants’ among us. And how high does our reach extend if we’re all brought down to the same size? Hm.

Okay, for most people, vacation ended long ago, but I’ve been in a weird state of mind that has mostly prevented too much work going on. A phone call with Agent Action, though, has kicked me in the bum, and I’m… here. Upright. Staring at the screen.

One thing that gives me a little boost is occasionally reading the Washington Post Style Invitational archives. I can’t waste the time reading them daily or I’d never get anything done, but when I get stuck on a chapter, I’m always a bit amused to go back and read the twists of the minds of thinkers who play with words. I also appreciate reading The Word Detective and dreaming of the day when I become that linguistically adept. And then, I get up for one last cup of tea, sit down, and really get back to business. Seriously. Which I am going to begin… now.

A little while before the holidays, I was watching some television special about Mardi Gras, and heard that there was a Greek god of writers. I looked it up on handy Wikipedia, and found, to my amusement, that Greek deity is called Momus, and he was kicked out of the Greek version of heaven on Mt. Olympus — for being a pain in the butt.

“Momus was the god of mockery, writers, poets, a spirit of evil-spirited blame and unfair criticism. Hesiod said that Momus was a son of Night (Nyx), in Theogony, 214. He mocked Hephaestus, Lucian of Samosata recalled (in the extended dialogue Hermotimus, 20), for having made mankind without doors in their breast, through which their thoughts could be seen. He even mocked Aphrodite, though all he could find was that she was talkative and had creaky sandals (Philostratus, Epistles).”

Heh. The god of writers is a pain in the butt who hangs out at Mardi Gras and drinks. Coincidence?

A little while before the holidays, I was watching some television special about Mardi Gras, and heard that there was a Greek god of writers. I looked it up on handy Wikipedia, and found, to my amusement, that Greek deity is called Momus, and he was kicked out of the Greek version of heaven on Mt. Olympus — for being a pain in the butt.

“Momus was the god of mockery, writers, poets, a spirit of evil-spirited blame and unfair criticism. Hesiod said that Momus was a son of Night (Nyx), in Theogony, 214. He mocked Hephaestus, Lucian of Samosata recalled (in the extended dialogue Hermotimus, 20), for having made mankind without doors in their breast, through which their thoughts could be seen. He even mocked Aphrodite, though all he could find was that she was talkative and had creaky sandals (Philostratus, Epistles).”

Heh. The god of writers is a pain in the butt who hangs out at Mardi Gras and drinks. Coincidence?

A few bits of news from the writing front — an SCBWI board has a new note from a Blooming Tree editor in search of middle grade stories:

I am now an assistant editor with Blooming Tree Press http://www.bloomingtreepress.com, and I am looking for manuscripts which meet the following criteria:

Kay Pluta, Assistant Editor
Blooming Tree Press

Meanwhile, 2006 looks to be the year of Making Better Writers — or else. According to the latest Poets & Writers …

Disappointed with the quality of entries for its First Fiction Award, Winnow Press decided to return the entry fees, postage, and manuscripts to all the writers who entered the contest. (From News & Trends, a feature of Poets & Writers Magazine.)

I imagine the contest participants are bitterly disappointed — and somewhat humiliated as well! To ‘winnow,’ however, means to sort the bad from the good, by shaking and wind. If anyone ever does get published by Winnow Press (and will anyone else enter a contest of theirs ever again?) they should be quite, quite honored.

Yes, indeed. Happy New Year.

Once again an agent is seeking to cultivate YA writers for her list. Dana West is a junior agent at the Writer’s House San Diego office, and will be attending the North Central California Region Spring Spirit II Conference in March. The conference features a lot of interesting editors and illustrators, and might be worthwhile if you’re in the area. Something to look forward to in 2006!

Every year one should refresh oneself on the basics of writing. Harold Underdown of The Purple Crayon fame is a nice man who published a guide on how to get out of the slush pile, the ubiquitous place where all unsolicited manuscripts first land. Writers would do themselves a favor to read it at least yearly, so as to avoid the mistakes we’re all apt to make when we get too lazy/sloppy/comfortable with this writing life. Since he has written a fabulous Q&A book about children’s publishing, you can mine the site for answers, and ask him something specific if you can’t already find the answer there.

The Arne Nixon Center for the Study of Children’s Literature, which houses a huge collection of children’s works for study and research, is announcing a Spring event with illustrator Steven Kellog. Now, I know we’re writers, but it’s good to Know Your Illustrators, especially when writing for children. Check it out.

The beginning of the year is very slow sometimes for writers – publishing houses are just getting back online from their two week (plus!) vacations, and it may seem like nothing is going on. Never fear, something IS going on! Only it’s going on with YOU, hopefully. Right now is when it’s a time to get to work! The Writer Magazine has some little workouts for learning how to pace, and a last minute (VERY last minute!) contest from the San Francisco Writer’s Conference Writing Contest. Too late for the contest this year, unless you’ve just got a children’s novel handy, (deadline is the 31st!), but there’s always next year, and the Conference in February. Meanwhile, work on that pacing!

Auld Lang Syne and all of that.

POSTAL RATES TO INCREASE JANUARY 8

The United States Postal Service Board of Governors has approved the Postal Rate Commission’s recommended 5.4 percent increase for most postal rates, effective Jan. 8, 2006.

The Periodicals rate is among those that will increase, but the 5 percent Classroom publication discount will remain in place. That means that the Classroom Periodicals Rate will increase by roughly 5.4 percent. Media and Library rates will increase by an average of 12.7 percent, though Library Mail rates, as required by law, will be set at 5 percent below corresponding Media Mail rates.

As required by law, the Media Mail rate increase is expected to cover Postal Service costs. However, it could have a significant affect on companies that use that subclass to ship a significant percentage of their products. Several groups protested to the USPS Board of Governors with respect to the Postal Rate Commission’s Media Mail decision.

What this means for writers, aside from having steeper price increases while sending things to potential publishers or agents, is higher cost of mailing books and those kind of Weekly Reader periodicals to schools that help to sell your books in the classroom. This is also going to impact the publishing agencies, and may trickle down into slightly increased book prices and/or less money being spent by marketing departments on sending out your books. Yes, happy New Year! Feel the love, writers! Y

Current Rates Listed First, Then New:
First-Class Letter (1 oz.) 37¢ 39¢
First-Class Letter (2 oz.) 60¢ 63¢
Postcard 23¢ 24¢
Priority Mail (1 lb.) $3.85 $4.05
Express Mail (1/2 lb) $13.65 $14.40
Express Mail (2 lb) $17.85 $18.80
Fee and Service Changes
Certified Mail $2.30 $2.40
Delivery Confirmation (Priority) 45¢ 50¢
Delivery Confirmation (First Class Parcels) 55¢ 60¢
Return Receipt (Original Signature) $1.75 $1.85
Return Receipt (Electronic) $1.30 $1.35

FYI, guys.

POSTAL RATES TO INCREASE JANUARY 8

The United States Postal Service Board of Governors has approved the Postal Rate Commission’s recommended 5.4 percent increase for most postal rates, effective Jan. 8, 2006.

The Periodicals rate is among those that will increase, but the 5 percent Classroom publication discount will remain in place. That means that the Classroom Periodicals Rate will increase by roughly 5.4 percent. Media and Library rates will increase by an average of 12.7 percent, though Library Mail rates, as required by law, will be set at 5 percent below corresponding Media Mail rates.

As required by law, the Media Mail rate increase is expected to cover Postal Service costs. However, it could have a significant affect on companies that use that subclass to ship a significant percentage of their products. Several groups protested to the USPS Board of Governors with respect to the Postal Rate Commission’s Media Mail decision.

What this means for writers, aside from having steeper price increases while sending things to potential publishers or agents, is higher cost of mailing books and those kind of Weekly Reader periodicals to schools that help to sell your books in the classroom. This is also going to impact the publishing agencies, and may trickle down into slightly increased book prices and/or less money being spent by marketing departments on sending out your books. Yes, happy New Year! Feel the love, writers! Y

Current Rates Listed First, Then New:
First-Class Letter (1 oz.) 37¢ 39¢
First-Class Letter (2 oz.) 60¢ 63¢
Postcard 23¢ 24¢
Priority Mail (1 lb.) $3.85 $4.05
Express Mail (1/2 lb) $13.65 $14.40
Express Mail (2 lb) $17.85 $18.80
Fee and Service Changes
Certified Mail $2.30 $2.40
Delivery Confirmation (Priority) 45¢ 50¢
Delivery Confirmation (First Class Parcels) 55¢ 60¢
Return Receipt (Original Signature) $1.75 $1.85
Return Receipt (Electronic) $1.30 $1.35

FYI, guys.

Whoo hoo! I think I have some time to read — during this wee sanctioned mini-vacay (if my agent can take one, so can I) I have loaded up at the library and who cares if I still have shopping and baking and wrapping to do before the onslaught of family frivolity? I am working on finding my true inner nerd-dom, skillfully multitasking in the face of futility… and I am reading in line. Okay, if I’m driving I try and cut down then. But I do read at a.] the Post Office, which, in my lovely town, is on Valium even on a normal day, b.] waiting in line at Raley’s behind the woman with the sixteen cases of beer (what IS Chriskwanzukkah like at her house!?) c.) waiting for my granola parfait at my fave cafe (and being asked questions by the wait staff that I don’t hear — they’ve taken to writing notes.).

I would love this time of year a lot more if we all took, say, just a week before Christmas and said, “Okay: stores closed. Expectations: none. Let’s all just read.”
National Book Week! That’s what it should REALLY be!

Best holiday gift I’m giving this year? Books on tape to the Littles. My tiny beef with many school systems is that they don’t spend enough time on history. (WARNING: former teacher rant upcoming.) Even I find out stuff I never learned in school — like the fact that the U.S. held Alaskans in interment camps during WWII — and I think, Man, most kids are clueless even about history that’s being made NOW! I got the great little book Baseball Saved Us, which was about a Japanese American boy who learned to love baseball in the middle of a desert. Good stuff.

Well, there’s another line calling my name.
Happy Winter, however you’re celebrating it.