Silver Lining

Whoa.
Just was jolted out of my whining, sneezing, wheezing state by opening the mail.

Some karmic comebacks going on here. After such an awful weekend, today I just felt like I wanted to be able to limit my drug intake (to one per four hours per drug), and stop cursing all blooming trees (Junipers? I’m talking to you.) and maybe clear the cotton out of my brain and perhaps still the tremors in my hands long enough to write. Instead, I hear not just good news, but great news — many of the books I loved were voted on and honored — Hattie and Rules and The Book Thief were Newbery Honors, and a Printz Award went to American Born Chinese! — which raises the bar for not only graphic novels, but cultural awareness in novels in general, and promotes being who you are in a funny, thoughtful and really well-drawn way. A further honor went to John Green’s stylishly jacketed An Abundance of Katherines, which is a book I really liked a whole lot. It’s indescribable, and if you haven’t read it yet, do. (I can’t wait to dig into the works of the other honorees and winners, some of which I had never heard of previously!)

Though I was quite pleased for the success of these books, it was a busy weekend filled with unpleasant hives and equally unpleasant people, so my Monday has been spent avoiding sharp edges and loud words. When I picked up my mail, I was a little nonplussed. A big envelope… what now? And then I opened it and read the words:

Random House Children’s Books

AGREEMENT made this___ day of ____2007, between TadMack (“Author”) and Random House Children’s Books, a Division of Random House (“Publisher”); The parties to this Agreement wish to publish and have published a certain work (the “Work”) provisionally entitled…

And then suddenly, my evening sort of took a turn for the better.

Books Bounding Forward

A huge thank-you to Book Moot for aiming me toward a really fascinating new thing —
digital storytelling. I KNEW I was not being unreasonable when I had a huge argument with my agent about digital rights. Many publishing companies are not leaving them with the author, but instead of capitalizing on them, they’re sitting on them. Perhaps e-Books aren’t huge news for children’s and YA fiction (which is what I was told — “Nobody is doing anything with ePublishing in children’s books.”), but there’s definitely something there… potential, I believe it’s called. Anyway, do check out inanimate alice, an online serial children’s/YA story told with interactive media (Alice ages a bit each episode, and she’ll end at age 20). It’s a fast-paced, mysterious story, and the pictures and sounds support the text. It’s thoroughly absorbing, as good as having your own little movie, or, since it’s interactive, your own little game.

Want to get a fix on what digital books can do for beginning or non-readers? See Jean Gralley’s Books Unbound, which capitalizes on the possibilities for picture books, and read her thoughts that were first published in Horn Book Magazine this month last year. I’m a bibliophile and I love the texture and smells of paper, but I am eager to see where this new medium takes us.

What's Wrong With This Picture, II

Thanks to sharp-eyed Sara for sparking these thoughts…

Our Cybils team scrutinized and dissected novel covers more than I usually do, and since on average I don’t spend time judging books by their covers (but I do judge them by their flyleaf copy — and if it’s too detailed or too flippant and tries to strike a stylistic tone — ugh, I put it down, which is unfair of me, I know) unless their covers really stand out, so it was a new thought to me how much cover art can really make a difference to who you get as readers. Our team additionally found that covers in the YA world tend to be pretty similar, (as did Fuse#8), and to follow trends. But using the same model, to me, seem to be a bit… much. Surely we’re not all out of cover ideas — or models — this early in the millennium?! Fortunately, though this same model was used on the Review Copy cover of Angel’s Choice that I received, I understand that the powers that be changed the cover for the actual publication copy that went out to readers. Since both novels may actually appeal to the same group of readers, this was a smarter move, I think.

Since I tend to find my books in smaller bookstores (and usually head straight for whatever I’m looking for), the display copies are sort of …well, invisible to me. (As I say this I realize I’m a bookseller’s worst nightmare – a focused shopper. Aaargh!) The books I actually notice displayed for YA readers have a definite… well, slant to them. They’re either in candy (or is it CUPCAKE or POPSICLE) shades, like the ubiquitous “chick lit” and they look like they’re all written for girls.

I wonder, sometimes, why… Good books like Nothing But the Truth (and a few white lies) or An Abundance of Katherines are likely overlooked because of their covers. I absolutely love the cover Gail Gautier’s Happy Kid, and I think the cover of Kiki Strike is awesome – just random enough to leave out a hook for anyone, but artistically relevant. Both of those books are geared to the middle grade set(correct me if I’m wrong on Happy Kid.) – so maybe that’s where the breakdown in covers occurs? People often talk about young adult boys not reading… I’m not sure if anyone is actually marketing books in their general direction… the girls are already reading, so why skew everything their way?

As my publication experience grows, I look forward to seeing just how hard or aggravating it is for authors to deal with the novel cover selection process. One of my MFA profs said told that we as newly fledged authors would have no say in how our covers appeared, for at least our first several novels. He had at that point three in print, and only had gotten his say because he’d a.) taken a business course and b.) presented his professional opinion after begging to sit in on a publication meeting. They listened to him, he said, because he’d gone the extra mile to prepare something. And to humor him. YA/Children’s Lit might be different. Here’s hoping… If they’re open to it, when I am famous, I’m going to bug A.Fortis into designing my cover for me. (A.F., you have lots and lots of time to prepare.)

And now for something on the more random side of life: if you’re really keen to get into the marketing nuts and bolts of your novel, you can start by building your ideal male (an amusing promo for Anatomy of a Boyfriend), or just design a cover for that steamy romance novel you’ve been dying to write.

Oh, stop, you know you have one stashed somewhere. Cheers!

What’s Wrong With This Picture, II

Thanks to sharp-eyed Sara for sparking these thoughts…

Our Cybils team scrutinized and dissected novel covers more than I usually do, and since on average I don’t spend time judging books by their covers (but I do judge them by their flyleaf copy — and if it’s too detailed or too flippant and tries to strike a stylistic tone — ugh, I put it down, which is unfair of me, I know) unless their covers really stand out, so it was a new thought to me how much cover art can really make a difference to who you get as readers. Our team additionally found that covers in the YA world tend to be pretty similar, (as did Fuse#8), and to follow trends. But using the same model, to me, seem to be a bit… much. Surely we’re not all out of cover ideas — or models — this early in the millennium?! Fortunately, though this same model was used on the Review Copy cover of Angel’s Choice that I received, I understand that the powers that be changed the cover for the actual publication copy that went out to readers. Since both novels may actually appeal to the same group of readers, this was a smarter move, I think.

Since I tend to find my books in smaller bookstores (and usually head straight for whatever I’m looking for), the display copies are sort of …well, invisible to me. (As I say this I realize I’m a bookseller’s worst nightmare – a focused shopper. Aaargh!) The books I actually notice displayed for YA readers have a definite… well, slant to them. They’re either in candy (or is it CUPCAKE or POPSICLE) shades, like the ubiquitous “chick lit” and they look like they’re all written for girls.

I wonder, sometimes, why… Good books like Nothing But the Truth (and a few white lies) or An Abundance of Katherines are likely overlooked because of their covers. I absolutely love the cover Gail Gautier’s Happy Kid, and I think the cover of Kiki Strike is awesome – just random enough to leave out a hook for anyone, but artistically relevant. Both of those books are geared to the middle grade set(correct me if I’m wrong on Happy Kid.) – so maybe that’s where the breakdown in covers occurs? People often talk about young adult boys not reading… I’m not sure if anyone is actually marketing books in their general direction… the girls are already reading, so why skew everything their way?

As my publication experience grows, I look forward to seeing just how hard or aggravating it is for authors to deal with the novel cover selection process. One of my MFA profs said told that we as newly fledged authors would have no say in how our covers appeared, for at least our first several novels. He had at that point three in print, and only had gotten his say because he’d a.) taken a business course and b.) presented his professional opinion after begging to sit in on a publication meeting. They listened to him, he said, because he’d gone the extra mile to prepare something. And to humor him. YA/Children’s Lit might be different. Here’s hoping… If they’re open to it, when I am famous, I’m going to bug A.Fortis into designing my cover for me. (A.F., you have lots and lots of time to prepare.)

And now for something on the more random side of life: if you’re really keen to get into the marketing nuts and bolts of your novel, you can start by building your ideal male (an amusing promo for Anatomy of a Boyfriend), or just design a cover for that steamy romance novel you’ve been dying to write.

Oh, stop, you know you have one stashed somewhere. Cheers!

Peering Into the Winner's Circle

This just in: the newest Edge of the Forest is up and out, and features a great piece on cover art… since finding out that the cover art for the Little House series is in transit, and after finding how cover art really impacts my assumptions about YA fiction, I found this especially interesting. Also great is the round-up of historical fiction, and the realization that for once, I’ve read most of the books everyone is talking about! (Yay, Cybils!) Head on over and enjoy!

***********************************************************************************
After serving on the Cybils YA team, I have thought more and more about the process whereby we come up with “winners” in children’s books, and whether the process is really inclusive and reflective of all of the best books out there.

To be quite blunt, I’ve never thought that the major ALA awards did the majority of books justice. One of the reasons for this is that in grad school, many of the books we studied were award winners, and there was a marked lack of … diversity in these books. Even books about characters of certain ethnicities were generally written by Caucasian authors. In the end, it was an overall combination of my contempt for my professor’s YA lit choices (sorry, KR), and generalized contempt for the awards themselves. Serving on the Cybils team gave me a great new compassion for award committees… I still believe that some really deserving books are being overlooked, but I got a glimpse of some of what committee panels are up against. (And for a bit more strife, check out the UK’s Commission for Racial Equality’s pending suit against an ethnic book award – [thanks to Read Roger]).

During the lovely Blogger Brunch last weekend, one of the things we discussed, amid the detritus of half-empty plates and far too many cups of tea, was the issue of ethnicity in Children’s literature. Tockla’s PhD work is regarding the editorial process that has affected books written by non-white authors in the UK since the 1970s, and how the process of publishing, which in children’s lit is mostly white and female (until the upper echelons, and then it’s largely white and male), has changed a work from one thing into another more ‘acceptable’ thing. A.F. and I have been working with depicting characters struggling with various Typical Young Adult situations who happen to be ethnic minorities, and we’ve both had some seriously odd experiences with editors and other in-charge types asking for various manipulations of characters to better reflect their ideals of what a character of a particular ethnicity would do. We both found it revealing to talk with Tockla about the various experiences her interviews with authors have given her, and the phenomenon that sometimes authors are asked to peel away things their characters were and did, in order to make them ‘acceptable’ to mainstream publishing. We discussed the question as to how literature then changes to become shined up for a mythical ‘everykid’ who does not, in fact, exist.

These thoughts led to us wincing laughter over the funny story of an agent seeking out every African American editor they knew in order to more successfully pitch a novel … despite the fact that the character was biracial and the storyline wasn’t particularly ethnic. And, when it was strongly suggested that the author remove the bi-racial character’s other race, and just make the character “plain old black, like you,” it was, well, shocking.

I wished then, as I often do, that I could have expressed why the whole thing is so troubling to me — funny on one level, but on myriad others, upsetting. (I, sadly, will forever be one of those people who can only think of a comeback exactly twenty-five minutes later, which is why I write… and try not to talk!) As the weekend went on, I tucked our brunch conversation away in my mind, then just happened over to Mitali’s Fire Escape, and was relieved to find her usual articulate discussion on ethnicity and literature. Her thoughts touch on mine, and though she was talking mostly about ethnicity based children’s book awards, she put it beautifully:

“Winning the Super Asian Writer Children’s Book Award could reinforce your vocation as an “ethnic” writer, which in turn might relegate you and your book to a (short) list of obligatory “multicultural” reads in a book-buyer’s blackberry. Your stories will then be forced on kids by adults like some sort of necessary vitamin pill for the soul. Yum.”

(Vitamin Pills for the Beleagured Soul. I believe Mitali could give the Chicken Soup people a run for their money!!)

You know, I can imagine NOBODY who wants to be put in a corner and generalized as a writer of a particular ethnicity that is only of interest to those who are OF or interested in that particular ethnicity, or those who have that ethnicity thrust upon them by well meaning teachers one few days a year (one in January and perhaps a few days a month in February, along with a class video of The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman and couple of Phyllis Wheatley poems or a few by Langston Hughes). Part of diversity must be defined by integration — both integration of peoples and their cultures, and the books about them. In the great Someday, our best world would be one where I could go and grab a novel about a Pakistani girl and just read it and appreciate the commonalities of our lives without particularly feeling like I was reading a South Asian Novel, but as we continue to grapple with the Now, that isn’t maybe as realistic. While I personally don’t want to be relegated to the portion of the bookstore for African American books (nor shunted off to African American editors), at the same time, I understand that some people’s minds are segregated like that, and maybe that’s what will create success for minority writers and their books. Maybe that’s just the way it has to be, in the here and now.

Seems a pity…

Peering Into the Winner’s Circle

This just in: the newest Edge of the Forest is up and out, and features a great piece on cover art… since finding out that the cover art for the Little House series is in transit, and after finding how cover art really impacts my assumptions about YA fiction, I found this especially interesting. Also great is the round-up of historical fiction, and the realization that for once, I’ve read most of the books everyone is talking about! (Yay, Cybils!) Head on over and enjoy!

***********************************************************************************
After serving on the Cybils YA team, I have thought more and more about the process whereby we come up with “winners” in children’s books, and whether the process is really inclusive and reflective of all of the best books out there.

To be quite blunt, I’ve never thought that the major ALA awards did the majority of books justice. One of the reasons for this is that in grad school, many of the books we studied were award winners, and there was a marked lack of … diversity in these books. Even books about characters of certain ethnicities were generally written by Caucasian authors. In the end, it was an overall combination of my contempt for my professor’s YA lit choices (sorry, KR), and generalized contempt for the awards themselves. Serving on the Cybils team gave me a great new compassion for award committees… I still believe that some really deserving books are being overlooked, but I got a glimpse of some of what committee panels are up against. (And for a bit more strife, check out the UK’s Commission for Racial Equality’s pending suit against an ethnic book award – [thanks to Read Roger]).

During the lovely Blogger Brunch last weekend, one of the things we discussed, amid the detritus of half-empty plates and far too many cups of tea, was the issue of ethnicity in Children’s literature. Tockla’s PhD work is regarding the editorial process that has affected books written by non-white authors in the UK since the 1970s, and how the process of publishing, which in children’s lit is mostly white and female (until the upper echelons, and then it’s largely white and male), has changed a work from one thing into another more ‘acceptable’ thing. A.F. and I have been working with depicting characters struggling with various Typical Young Adult situations who happen to be ethnic minorities, and we’ve both had some seriously odd experiences with editors and other in-charge types asking for various manipulations of characters to better reflect their ideals of what a character of a particular ethnicity would do. We both found it revealing to talk with Tockla about the various experiences her interviews with authors have given her, and the phenomenon that sometimes authors are asked to peel away things their characters were and did, in order to make them ‘acceptable’ to mainstream publishing. We discussed the question as to how literature then changes to become shined up for a mythical ‘everykid’ who does not, in fact, exist.

These thoughts led to us wincing laughter over the funny story of an agent seeking out every African American editor they knew in order to more successfully pitch a novel … despite the fact that the character was biracial and the storyline wasn’t particularly ethnic. And, when it was strongly suggested that the author remove the bi-racial character’s other race, and just make the character “plain old black, like you,” it was, well, shocking.

I wished then, as I often do, that I could have expressed why the whole thing is so troubling to me — funny on one level, but on myriad others, upsetting. (I, sadly, will forever be one of those people who can only think of a comeback exactly twenty-five minutes later, which is why I write… and try not to talk!) As the weekend went on, I tucked our brunch conversation away in my mind, then just happened over to Mitali’s Fire Escape, and was relieved to find her usual articulate discussion on ethnicity and literature. Her thoughts touch on mine, and though she was talking mostly about ethnicity based children’s book awards, she put it beautifully:

“Winning the Super Asian Writer Children’s Book Award could reinforce your vocation as an “ethnic” writer, which in turn might relegate you and your book to a (short) list of obligatory “multicultural” reads in a book-buyer’s blackberry. Your stories will then be forced on kids by adults like some sort of necessary vitamin pill for the soul. Yum.”

(Vitamin Pills for the Beleagured Soul. I believe Mitali could give the Chicken Soup people a run for their money!!)

You know, I can imagine NOBODY who wants to be put in a corner and generalized as a writer of a particular ethnicity that is only of interest to those who are OF or interested in that particular ethnicity, or those who have that ethnicity thrust upon them by well meaning teachers one few days a year (one in January and perhaps a few days a month in February, along with a class video of The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman and couple of Phyllis Wheatley poems or a few by Langston Hughes). Part of diversity must be defined by integration — both integration of peoples and their cultures, and the books about them. In the great Someday, our best world would be one where I could go and grab a novel about a Pakistani girl and just read it and appreciate the commonalities of our lives without particularly feeling like I was reading a South Asian Novel, but as we continue to grapple with the Now, that isn’t maybe as realistic. While I personally don’t want to be relegated to the portion of the bookstore for African American books (nor shunted off to African American editors), at the same time, I understand that some people’s minds are segregated like that, and maybe that’s what will create success for minority writers and their books. Maybe that’s just the way it has to be, in the here and now.

Seems a pity…

This Week In Blog

Mindy from Proper Noun brings up a bunch of really great points about the whole Cybils thing, and what she’s learned from it. She comments,

“…I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t blog very critically. My reviews are more likely to capture my personal reaction than discuss literary devices, and I’m okay with that.”

It is, in fact, true that people who read blogs aren’t usually after things like long discussions of story arc and protagonist motivation, but I find that once I’m sitting down to write a review, I kind of have to do that kind of thing anyway. For me, it helps to think of story and characters from every direction that I can, because I tend to be a bit… inelegant with my descriptions. Inarticulate. Scrambling for words.

See, here’s the thing. I get a book. I breathe in that Book Smell. I ignore the flyleaf and check out the cover art. Then, I settle in to read. For me, reading is much akin to sampling desserts. There are some you instantly like, some that are too sweet, some not sweet enough, but since I read quickly, I tend to just take myriad books in at once. When I find a tasty book, I just want to squeal “Ooh! Ooh! I like that one!” and with no further thought, go on to the next one. That’s… not really reviewing, but more recording-gut-reactions, enjoying the experience, and having far too much fun, which is why I tend to defer to a. fortis when any actual thinking about writing is done.

Sure, once I’ve thought about a novel for a bit, I can start deconstructing… I eventually (ahem)managed to do the work for my degrees in litarature. The problem is, like many others, I tend to only blog about books I like — or ones that I dislike so much that I must let everyone know how disappointed in them I am. I am hoping to learn to be more balanced and intelligent about literature (like A.F or Tockla or MotherReader, who can be counted on to say what she thinks quite clearly and hilariously), but sometimes I don’t care… Frankly, it’s just a lot of mad love and catching-up-from-a-fiction-deprived-childhood that I’m doing, and that’s okay, too.

Of course, when you’re being looked to to provide a bit more… discrimination in your reading responses (as in, you’re a Cybils nominator!), you have to really slow down bolting your books and chew each chapter thoughtfully. That was the hardest thing about working with the list of eighty-some books we had – to tone down the enthusiasm at being allowed bunches of free (!!!!!!) books and try to sift through, reading and re-reading them critically and consideringly.

The second painful thing was that shortlist — and discovering that four of the final five are from one publishing house. We hadn’t noticed until we ‘heard’ that house described as having a stranglehold on the category. Ouch!

Additionally, it was hard not to feel regret for those books that we could not choose. I had to laugh, the night after we’d turned in our list — our team emailed each other about ways to highlight our personal favorite books that didn’t make the cut. It was difficult for people with such varying temperaments to choose well as a group, and I continue to hope that each of us felt our opinions were heard and respected. Certainly I think next year will be harder, as people will be more familiar with the format and maybe more confident. I can say this: we chose well this year – next year we will choose awesomely!

Finally, the worst thing about all of this? Parting with the books. I actually sat down to take a few to the library of a school. And then I said, “But I like this one. And this one. And this one…” and I was quite dismayed that I could part with no more than five or six of them. Am I that big of a book hoarder? Why, yes, I am. I’m still going to be giving some away — that’s a personal goal, to pare down the list by two-thirds — but to salve my wounds, I promised myself new bookshelves.

It’s the little things, people.

More on the Bay Area Children’s Book Blogger’s Brunch (the truncated version, since it was sort of spur of the moment, and there were only three of us) and the reason I’m saving my resolutions until the Lunar New Year on February 18th… later.

Middle Of the Week, Huzzah!

Thanks to my fellow Flickr Fiction blogger, Chris, for this completely time-wasting exercise in aristocracy.

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Venerable Lady Tadmack the Deipnosophist of Westessexchestershire
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Dearling, please hand me my diadem. Oh, wait. You want to know what a deipnosophist might be? You’re not sure I am one? Tut, tut. The word deipnosophist is derived from Greek elements meaning ‘meal’ and ‘wise man,’ so we can assume it means someone wise in mealtime conversation…it could also just mean a gastronome, but if you spout it at a dinner party, I guarantee no one will ask you to which meaning you refer… everyone else will silently be trying to figure out if you’ve insulted them or not.

Meanwhile, why no, I am not a Deip·nos·o·phist n. (d ī p*n ŏ s” ō *f ĭ st) — I am dreadful at dinner conversation, which is why I eat at my computer. But still – everyone needs to be the lord or lady of something… even if it’s just rumors.

I am really loving the t-shirt of the week thing going on at ye olde Bookshelf. Like many others, I am not a fan of conjecture with regard to Hogwarths & Co… I don’t even want to think about HP-Finis until Book 7 is in my sweaty little paws … but it chortles me no end that you can get total strangers to argue with you about it just by having an opinion and a t-shirt. Yay for readers! When roused, we’re such a scrappy, shirty lot.

I guess we writers are also rather scrappy. This week, Simon & Schuster’s Sobol Prize was cancelled, due to a lot of people expressing patent disbelief that one should have to pay an $85 entry fee for a contest meant to reward agentless authors with a $100K book contract. The idea that after winning, one must also have a Sobol-picked agent also sort of guaranteed that S&S had a lock on the author, body and manuscript, which, in the sharply competitive business of publishing, didn’t necessarily mean good things for the author. How smart is it to have an agent who is totally involved with one house? So, yay, writers. Way to save that $85 entry fee to spend on postage for your query letters and sample chapters instead of on yet another contest to potentially exploit people desperate to get fulfil their dream of getting published.

I remember cringing through my high school production of 12 Angry Men, which, in the interest of the myriad girls in my drama class was renamed 12 Angry Jurors. How horrified I would have been, had playwright Reginald Rose appeared in our musty high school auditorium with the ugly mottled green carpet and theater seating, to watch us struggle through what is supposed to be one of those marvelously critical studies on the human psyche in the face of stress and responsibility. Seeing me as an incoherent, raging Juror Number Five (sound and fury signifying… um… nothing much, I fear…) I think Mr. Rose might have decided never to write again…

Students in Birmingham, Alabama had a simillar experience (only their play was most excellent) when Harper Lee attended their high school adaptation of To Kill a Mockingbird.How cool is that!? Yay for the future writers and playwrights of Birmingham, Alabama, and for Ms. Lee, who was gracious enough to come out of her usually quiet life to honor the students with her presence and be honored in turn.

Philosophy isn’t a subject that most young adults spend much time on, but UK author Lucy Eyre has an original take on the notions of Socrates and other philosophical greats that might make philosophy identifiable again as something other than a line of cosmetics. The book, If Minds Had Toes sounds both whimsical, silly and deep, and worth looking at as reading for the more clue-full young person in your life.

All right… back to work.
sigh.

Some Situations Need William Blake

Blake’s notebook from 1793 comments on the Poison Tree: “There is just such a tree at Java Found.” The tree is upas, which legend has endowed with the power to kill creatures for many miles around; its native name means ‘poison’.

I’ve always wondered about this poem… listed in Blake’s ‘Songs of Experience’ cycle, it is anger, hatred, Schadenfreude; pruned, watered and nurtured. Every other poem on earth warns us that it will be us lying beneath the tree if we bottle up anger, nurture it, etc. etc., but not our William. No warnings, just …somebody dies. Songs of experience, indeed…

I don’t often gloat, per se, but I’m getting to the point with an Unnamed Annoying Person that I’d like to see him poisoned and laid out beneath a tree, any tree. Preferably one I don’t have to look at. It’s ironic, since we’re allegedly supposed to be both working toward the good of one project or another, yet we’re at total cross-purposes, and it’s all because I’m a girl, and he’s a boy; I don’t have his degree but a degree in a different discipline, so he’s all follicle defying static electricity and spark that I’m “criticizing him” and trying to take over, and I spend at least seventy-five percent of our time interacting trying to soothe his stupid hormonally imbalanced nerves.

I so tire of people who are threatened by others with a few more creative ideas than themselves. I go back and reread that line, and it sounds snobby. Let me restate: It’s tiresome to feel required to have to contain yourself for the sake of the other people in the world who might feel threatened if you speak up and have an idea. It’s quite ridiculous, really, and I don’t know what to do about it, I truly don’t. I want to be a Nice Person. We girls all grow up knowing how important it is to be a Nice Person, and the more I deal with this Annoying Personage, the more I feel I am veering radically from Niceness. This is a scary prospect. I am a girl: thus I am supposed to be Nice. Who am I if I’m not nice?

It’s especially bad because I think females tend to grow up stifled. It’s something that we don’t even notice, and it’s hard to resist it. Yet, according to American Association of University Women (AAUW) report, Shortchanging Girls, Shortchanging America, there are plenty of ugly statistics (which probably also relate to girls and women in the UK and otherwheres) that include the fact that women and girls are routinely exposed to teachers and school-work frameworks from childhood up that erode their confidence. And it’s not like I’m beating the drum of “boys are the awful enemy,” either. Somehow, structurally, our society seems content with boys always being the winners, and the rest of us have to just hush up and take second place. It’s just baffling and scary that this feeling still exists when we’re no longer in school.

Maybe the real issue is that Annoying Person never left, in his mind. He’s still fourteen or something, with apologies to all the fine and upstanding junior high kids out there.

I don’t know what to do.

I’m trying not to water the Poison Tree.

But those apple blossoms smell so pretty

Writing Along…

Wow, has anyone else been trying desperately to get Blogger to function for the past three days!!? Sorry for the lapses between posts… good grief! I think this is all a plot to get us all to update our systems… well, I’m GETTING to it! At some point. Anyway… today’s thought: I’m not dying for anything to do with Harry – my Potter of choice this month is Beatrix! I hold out the idea of seeing the newly released movie as a little treat to force me through all of the necessary tasks of my week. That and the pile of books next to the bed are my carrot and stick this month.

Now that the Cybils voting has been over for a couple of weeks, I’m in novel recovery, reading wildly all over the place and selecting books that are only on my personal list, plus the inevitable “random handful” that I gather on my way out of the library toward the self-check machine. I’ve gone British with Diana Wynn Jones’ Chrestomanci series, enjoyed being introduced to Joyce Lee Wong’s Emily, and I also hope to sink my teeth into the rest of the Middle Grade Cybils list as well as some standouts I’ve heard of like That Girl Lucy Moon, or one of Ellen Kushner’s fabulous swashbuckling historical fictions for girls in her Swordpoint series.

Thanks to the many blogs and bloggers out there, I’m picking up things I’d never considered reading before, and I’ve found some surprises that still resonate with me these many weeks later. Though not all of these ended up on our Cybil’s shortlist, there are a couple of novels that I truly enjoyed that came with the theme of “You Can’t Tell Me What to Do!” These rebel yells were found in:

Koyal Dark, Mango Sweet. Ever heard the saying “the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice?” It strikes me painfully that it’s not only American persons of color but many other cultures who favor a European beauty ideal. In India where this story takes place, Jeeta is taught that she is too dark to be happy, too dark to be fortunate, too dark to marry well. And frankly, marriage is all that seems to be on the table for her future. This quiet novel could have been even more direct, but three cheers for the idea of not letting society have all the say about what is beautiful, who deserves to be happy, and how we should all behave.

Adora is a girl who struck out against what she perceived to be an unfair class system in her high school. Tired of being on the edges of the crowd, this Fringe Girl stepped up to change things by using a class assignment. Of course, she wasn’t totally successful, because when she started, she wasn’t totally sure of what she wanted, or what to do once she got where she was going. I was a teensy bit disappointed that the novel didn’t go deeper into the implications of class and social structures, but I have great hopes for another novel-in-process called Latte Rebellion, which is also about a social movement gone wildly awry which involves race… and coffee.

Don knows that you can put up with anything if you have a goal. Even the thug beating him up during PE is something he can just sort of ignore, because he’s got a goal — something more real to him that school, friends, and the people around him, including his mother, the Half Alien to be, and his Stepfacist. (And wouldn’t that be a great group: Half-Alien & the Stepfacists?) The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl was one of my favorite novels because it is a bright and shining reminder that there’s life beyond high school — and that nobody can box you into their narrow idea of who you are unless you let them.

I read this book and was thrown back into a time when being disabled meant that you were treated like you were completely a non-person. Accidents of Nature was an eye-opener. I was riveted by both of the main characters. Jean believes that she is just as mainstream as everyone else, and acts that way, while Sara sort of rebelliously revels in her other-ness, and forces others to not only see her as inseparable from her disease, but to accept her as she is. This novel was tough to read at times, as the young adults with full physical abilities at times seemed criminally stupid or unfeeling, and I wondered if this was just a bitterness of the character, or a reality in the 70’s. The ending is fairly enigmatic, but this is a novel that sticks with you for a long time.

I was never much of a prairie novel fan, but Hattie Big Sky won me over because Hattie just has so much heart. Nobody thought she could do anything more than be somebody’s wife or somebody’s maid, and in the end, what she chose to do was, in fact, too hard for her (although in real life it wasn’t… and I’m still not sure why the author chose to have her fail. I know it’s more realistic, and most people DID fail, but Hattie didn’t…? Anyway…), but she still gave it her everything, in her own quiet, rebellious way. Beautiful.

Sneaking out to audition for Oye Mi Canto isn’t the most rebellious thing Ali does. She concentrates on being herself — which is the gutsiest thing of all. Adios to My Old Life was full of twists and turns of show-biz, and really enjoyable. Though things didn’t go the way Ali thought that they would, she still came away with success. One thing I liked was that success wasn’t narrowly defined. Other contestants in the show lived life in different ways — some loved adulation, some loved flirting and jewelry, etc., but there was no defining “this is the only way to do it” type of rhetoric. I loved that the Latino people were portrayed as intelligent and educated and as varied as peoples of all nations actually are. It’s actually vanishingly rare to see Latin peoples portrayed that positively, and I hope this book attracts all of the readers it deserves.

To round out my Super Seven, I chose Nothing But the Truth and a Few White Lies, which I had the privilege of reading before it was nominated. Despite its deceptively pink cover, this is a riot grrrrl book, and Patty Ho is kind of queen of the rebels, as she first rebels against every stereotype placed on her by both her Asian and non-Asian acquaintances, and then she escapes from the narrow role she’s defined for herself. She’s not an Egg, a Banana, or any other schizophrenic snack-oriented racial category. She is just herself: and that has to be good enough. This novel’s gift is that it transcends race, hapa-ness, and other categories to appeal to anybody and everybody who hasn’t fit well into the categories other people have carved out for them. This novel gives readers the gift of knowing it’s okay to fight to be oneself.

Others have shared the fun and frustrations of being on the Cybils panel with so many great books and so few to choose. Check out what Little Willow and Mindy have to say about their favorite Cybil picks which did or didn’t get onto our shortlist.

Meanwhile, is anyone else still thinking about resolutions…? The longer I delay writing them down, the longer I don’t have to do them, right? … Oh, okay. I’ll get to them. Soon.