Dear Mistress Mannerly,
Today Tech Boy and I were invited to vacation in a lovely seaside resort home with two other couples. How can I explain to them that I’d rather chow down on rusted iron nails than be trapped in a house full of strangers who expect me to act like I want to speak to them and not hide in an empty room, and who want me to do something other than completely ignore them in favor of reading a book?
An introvert completely panicking about togetherness in August even though it’s months away.
Greetings, Completely Panicking Introvert,
The seaside is lovely at any time of year, and you’ll find these next three months will just fly by, never fear. While those in the pica community prove that there are indeed minerals like iron and zinc to be gained from ingesting clays, metals, and the like, Mistress Mannerly begs to remind you that chewing nails will absolutely wreak havoc with your smile. Substituting the barest pinch of ground glass for your iron indulgence will result in a much more satisfyingly attractive corpse.
Mistress Mannerly begs you remember, panic is counterproductive. Mindful action – even the mindful action of letting rip the odd existential scream – is a much better way to get on.
Fare you well, and tastefully,