I’ve been thinking a lot about performance, and the stressful nature of being in front of so many eyes, singing or playing or speaking – one’s heart out, vulnerable – in such a public space. It is not always easy. In fact, as I have been speaking to the many friends who have asked about my chorus time, what sticks most in my head is not the performances, but my delight in the rehearsals.
Perhaps life is a series of rehearsals. The performances – bah. You hardly notice them. Most of the time is spent on trying to get things right. And then, when you do – there. You’ve performed, without noticing. There are periods of anxiety, just before the show. There are moments of bliss, when you’re hearing your harmonies blend just so. And the music plays on…
In the tradition of the Scottish Really Terrible Orchestra, comes the Terrible Adult Chamber Orchestra of the Bay Area. Hadn’t ever heard of the RTO? They’re… terrible – but they only say so, to get that out there in the beginning. They’re an example of this performance thing – they play their performances like they play their rehearsals – with zest and energy. They expect something to go wrong – and they’re okay with it.
The joy with which the Bay Area group tackle orchestral music – and bash through, learning it, is satisfying. Professional people, students, retirees – they all love playing, and they all don’t have the time or impetus to spend the hours practicing necessary, but they want to play. And so, there’s a place for them to do so. Unlike the RTO, the TACO doesn’t perform for anyone’s amusement; they simply take joy in the learning that they do. A piece which wasn’t recognizably Bach suddenly becomes. It’s like junior high band, with less pressure. More laughter. Queries of, “where are we!?” and the exhilaration of coming to the last note, all at the same time. It’s an example of the necessity and beauty of play.
That might not sound like it would work for you. No matter – it’s the joy of playing that’s the point.
Classically trained people don’t always get to have “jam sessions” where the playing and singing just go on and modulate into something fresh and new – occasionally, it happens for them. The folk chamber group (for lack of something better to call them), Lost in the Trees plays “Time Taunts Me,” in Quebec, in this video. The instrumental intervals and the vocal intervals are not necessarily a part of the song, they’re just the group… loving the song. Loving the music. You can see this through the fact that everyone gets involved — singing, shaking a percussion egg, heads tilted back, letting the music through. Though they’re filming, this isn’t a performance, as such – it’s in someone’s house. And yet, their love of the rehearsal turns the playing of the song into performance. They’re trained. They know their parts – and still, the music takes off, and brings the musicians along for the ride, one possibly a little longer than they expected to take. It’s magical.
The song is about time. Please, take some, and do something you really and truly enjoy.
The time you have is now.
I appreciate it that such groups as the RTO and the TACO (heh) exist. (Lost in the Trees is growing on me, too.)
In my twenties, I used to joke in a serious way about having a midlife crisis. Now, as I think of people who have died much too soon, and look ahead at what I think is my remaining time, priorities shift. I have spent too much energy worrying and whining about what I’ve not done, rather than celebrating the small glories and gatherings.
For some reason, the Body Shop anti-Barbie ad of years back comes to mind: “There are 3 billion women who don’t look like supermodels, and only 8 who do.” I could easily say, “There are 3 billion+ women who aren’t famous authors/dancers/painters/etc. and only [a relative few] who are.” So what? Why was world renown ever an important measure of life success? It’s easy enough to write those words, but more challenging to believe them. I do believe them. Now, I do.
Here’s to the joy of playing.
Yes, TACO. I somehow don’t think they did that accidentally…
I love that video–the song and the way they play it.
One thing I love about the WTF Podcasts are that most of the people who are on it perform in one way or another, and I relate to the ways they talk about it. It’s a complicated thing, crafting something to perform in front of people and then going and doing it. I’m not sure anyone who does it has a completely comfortable and easy relationship with it. I know that for me, there are times when I pretty much stay on script and things are all fine and good, but then there are times when I feel really comfortable and confident enough to go off script and take some kind of risk (suggesting that one’s taking a risk implies forethought, but usually things just kind of come out of my mouth, and I’m just as surprised as anyone might be)–that’s when the most interesting things happen. I have to really work at any type of performance, but it’s the surprising things that happen that make the effort worthwhile, at least to me.
I think about this quite a bit.
I always TRY to stay on-script, but off-script happens a lot more often – disturbingly often. And yet, sometimes the leap produces great things, it’s true.
An example being me and Emily playing our Dvorak four hand piano duets…we enjoy it lots, despite our limitations!
(also we get to quote Menolly a lot to each other, which we appreciate– “It’s like flying on a dragon!” Menolly, however, pays much more attention to the key signiture than some of us do….)