{Here Right Now: The Present is a Gift}

You know that feeling where you have a friend who actually hears you? Sometimes, the feeling is so perfect it’s a little scary.

A couple of years back, a friend of mine was going through a divorce, and I suggested that she remember a fact about herself and her life, and write it on her hand if she had to, so like a cheat-sheet during the day, she could look back at it and remind herself. It’s a valuable piece of advice, to remind yourself of something, when your usual defenses are low.

Fast forward to this Thanksgiving, when a group of us were sharing our plans. I wrote a short — and some say “cryptic” — note to my logophile friends, and finished more or less this way:

We are doing so well, comparatively. Last year this time, I don’t even want to think about. I will hold to the reality of now, and tell my blessings like rosary beads, washing their perfect shapes against hoarding fingers. Here right now: this is my mantra.

One thing this four years away has taught me is to take each moment as it comes. Trouble is ahead and behind, and only right now seems clear. The present is a gift, is it not? And so, I stay here as long as I can.

Can’t say I know what’s coming next. Not a one of us does. …I think of [redacted] family’s staggering loss, and the bright gains to come very soon. I think of others of you with homes full of family, some loving relationships, some acrimonious, and so much potential for poison or passion on a holiday of all days. We stand on the cusp of all things —

But, right now, I am looking out of my office window, watching the wind whipping ‘round the trees, and saying a prayer for you and yours, and me and mine. And right now, I am blessed – that you are friends.

As you can see, it wasn’t anything particularly eloquent, and I’m still smiling at Ms. Smith’s description of it as “cryptic.” But, she heard what I said, and made it her mantra, too. And then, she made me a little reminder…

You know the organization, “To Write Love On Her Arms”? THIS is how you do it.

Being heard: it is the gift of being understood and loved. In this case, I am also reminded. It’s not the destination, but the journey. Not the culmination of the holiday, but how you celebrate each moment – a perfectly curled ribbon, a smile shared between shoppers in a parking lot. It’s how you pace yourself, and how you breathe. The present is a gift. Be here right now.

Thank You, R. ♥