I am terrible at meditation. JUST. TERRIBLE. I remember taking my group home students to a yoga studio once for a Phys. Ed. lesson (we had tons of “try out this sport/thing!” demonstrations to expose them to a broader world than where they’d come from). The teacher took us through the basics of where and why yoga started, and what it was about, and then she attempted to get my students to do some basic, beginner yoga … with predictable results. Internal stillness? Nope. Focus? Nope. Despite face-twisting effort (which was really hilarious) none of us found balance or serenity to speak of. The yoga teacher was working with us as a favor to the director, though, so she soldiered on, but I remember thinking that I was as bad as the kids – all intrusive thoughts and distractions.
On reflection, I think the whole meditation/Zen-fail was more that my attention was divided, trying to make sure my students didn’t start shenanigans than anything else. If I’m not actively worried about something, I can focus and breathe and do all those good mindfulness-related things. Does it do anything like lower my blood pressure or make me a better person? Meh, maybe – but more importantly, I’ve discovered that stillness is a necessary ingredient for sometimes hearing… myself. And that’s got to be worth a ‘thank-you.’
meditative
Still sits tall – its legs l-straight
Releasing all the stress ‘s’ hates.
It cashes out, closes the till
Turns off the lights and starts to chill.