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- wander aimlessly through my house
- stress clean the kitchen
- read a lot. And queue up reviews for weeks in advance
- trim my hair
- Tell myself not to panic
- trim tech boy’s hair
- tweeze my eyebrows
- tweeze my leg hair
- look up trichotillomania on WebMD
- rearrange the fridge
- rearrange the spices by height
- rearrange the spices by alphabetical order
- stress bake cookies with no recipe
- ask God WHYYYYYYYYY multiple times
- wonder where that one figure skater is doing now
- sigh a lot
- dust mop beneath the couch
- analyze the dirt in the Roomba
- discover where earring backs have gone
- rearrange my earrings
- stress clean my desk
- write notes to myself
- find a spider. usher him or her out
- ponder the pile of laundry in the laundry room
- consider doing one load. consider doing ALLL the loads
- lie on couch, staring, dry-eyed
- Panic. Just a little
- imagine names for pets
- argue with self if pets are cats or fish or turtles
- write faux jacket copy and abandon it
- try outlining, then laugh wildly at how bad it is
- full on panic. Wheeze
- organize notes to myself by writing – neatest to scribbliest
- read novel notes from 6 months ago, laugh wildly, edge into hysterical sobbing
- make a serious stab at a novel synopsis
- begin novel-as-movie paragraph, “In a world where…”
- wail. Loudly.
- find a spider. Usher it from this life
- promise the muse nonexistent firstborn
- take back promise, because kids would make this even harder
- close my eyes and imagine the character
- remember whatever the character wants needs to not happen
- rediscover the concept of CONFLICT
- write a letter, telling story of novel so far to mother
- whisper, “Ohhhh…!” as light breaks
- is that a spider? Huh.
- mutter prayer of thanks and GET BACK TO WORK