{haiku: and so it goes – to 40}

And, WHOOSH, thus ends April. I am sneezing and clearing off my desk to be hauled away to a new owner, and will relocate to a kitchen table here, then there, and then to a whole new house, eventually.

And yet, despite the chaotic nature of my days, I know the next time Liz – aka That Demented Shilling Pied Piper Poet – chivvies us Poetry Princesses into writing with her to celebrate National Poetry Month, I know I’ll be there. I can’t not be there, apparently. And, this just reminds me that I ought to attempt poetry much, much more often. I love the form – I love the struggle – and it is a struggle, though haiku is merely a shorter struggle. I am tentatively feeling my way toward the idea that I really enjoy writing poetry. And so. Today’s the last day of the month, and I realized something kind of funny. First, I wasn’t going to do this every day. And then, I decided to “catch up” with the days I missed, and number them nicely like Sara’s done on her blog.

Thirty-four poems later…

While it’s not exactly true that Humanities majors can’t count, I can’t help but laugh at my over-exuberance to write a poem a day for a month with thirty-one days therein. This month, I wrote haiku in emails, in cards to friends, in bits and pieces that didn’t even get posted … but I published thirty-four poems. Today is really gravy. But, what the heck – in for a penny, in for thirty-five pence. Or, you know, maybe a few more.

Written to a friend who is also changing jobs and moving – and trying to weigh the decisions, as we are:

nor all your Piety nor Wit

skywrite an answer,
moving finger!! Having writ,

how hard can it be?

just make a decision

O, strobe of lightning
manifest my destiny:
there: decision made.

Composed whilst packing away what’s left of my books after ten boxes and three suitcases full of donations. Yes. I have a book problem. No, I will not see someone for it…

dusty, but loved

paperback writer:
in every box wedge thick tomes
the tale of a life

On building a flat-packed box in the living room and finding it is too wide/large to go through the doorway:

O rlly?

And then, there are times
When I doubt our common sense:
Man tops the food chain?

And finally today’s offering:

head-turner

Occasionally
even the Muse shows off
my keyboard spills words

Temporary Office

Thanks for dropping by – it’s been an amazing month of poetry, and hopefully I’ll remember how I’ve entertained myself, and keep writing. Hope you do, too.

Now, back to the packing mess!

{travel story (#34)}

Stuff Arrives 5

once upon a time
we understood our few needs
and packed smaller bags.

I rarely peruse the photographs of what our possessions looked like stacked and piled in our California townhouse; that home belongs to someone else now, and the pain of looking at the bamboo flooring we so carefully chose and helped to lay – well. It tugs. I look, instead, at the snaps of the piles of stuff post-shipping, of our bewildered expressions, after living without these possessions for three months, as to how we could now live with them. We sorted and began the pare down, that next move. And the move after. And the move after. And now, we’re packing up things to ship them stateside again… (no destination but a storage facility) and we have so, so little left.

It feels like we’ve almost broken free…

{haiku: bridging it}

For A., because sometimes it takes a long walk back to find where we left our hearts. Here’s to all the water under the bridge – and getting over it.

I both love and hate bridges. I love looking over the edge at the water, I love the sounds of chuckling eddies over rocks, I love the image of my shadow elongated above flat green water. I love that when my brother was four, he decided, in the state park, to relieve himself off of a bridge, and Tech Boy had to grab him and … sort of shelter him from the error of his ways. (Heh. I can tell stories like this now because he’s twenty, and needs to be embarrassed now and again.)

I hate bridges, too. I hyperventilate slightly going over the Golden Gate Bridge, every single time, mainly because I keep thinking that at any moment, people could either be jumping off, or having head-on collisions. (You know what I mean, if you’ve driven when they’ve got the middle lane taken away. Sometimes the whole Wonders of the Road thing misses me, and I only see Hwy 101 and the 580 as crazy labyrinthine rat traps designed by sadistic fiends. You’ll note I also don’t drive much, and there are fingerprints in my steering wheel from my death grip.)

Today, bridges are a metaphor. I always like those.

London T 115

short cut?

stepping stones beckon
perhaps a safer crossing

or new ways to drown?

Dunkeld Cathedral 48

not really trying

meeting you halfway
I stretch, but leave hands fisted

Pity. You’re beyond reach.

Stirling 189

getting there

taking careful steps
progress, inevitable.

the reward of “wait.”

(Or, this version also appeals:)

organically

take forward steps.
possess your soul in patience.
progress, naturally.

Poetry Friday is being celebrated at The Opposite of Indifference today.

{haiku: the wearing of signs}

Hillhead Book Club Sign

Oh, the profundities of the day. A beautiful and thought-provoking blog post someone sent to me, found here.

Big, big sigh. Reading that reminded me of a sad little story that is made up of a bunch of vignettes that are maybe a little like this story of silent words, and silent messages, and …signs.

My friend Laura always amuses me, when she’s having an opinion about something. “Well, I’m trying, but I have… judgment,” she says uncomfortably, and it always makes me giggle, to see her expression. She’s mostly good and calm and kind and centered, and when she “has judgment,” and actually says it out loud, it’s probably because the rest of us have already been shrieking, “Oh, my GOSH! Craziness!!” about a situation for days.

Stirling 307

Well, sadly, I often have judgment. And I’m not nearly so kind and calm.

I found out a few years ago, after I had shot my mouth off so often about a certain kind of tattoo which some people call by a denigrating name, that a friend of mine, who had gotten a tattoo, as a little monument to something, for herself, was then afraid to show it to me, because she feared I’d say she was trampy.

More recently, someone I love dearly had a drinking problem which they hid from me, because they know I don’t drink, and have said a lot of negative things about alcohol, and they “heard” some of the things I didn’t say.

Stirling 311

There are what we might call “extenuating circumstances” in each case. My friend should have known me better than to think that I would reject someone because they’d injected ink under their skin. I don’t think she’s tacky or cheap or crass – it’s a tattoo, not a … well, not something else. Just ink. And my friend who struggles with alcohol – well, on one hand, having a grandparent who was a violent alcoholic (and another who died slowly of lung cancer and emphysema) and having that filter through my family through those third-and-fourth-generations – well, it left the entire generation above me leery of alcohol and smoking. Really leery. I know I will not ever drink or smoke – talk about ways to absolutely kill my parents and aunts and uncles. And, I admit that I get nervous around some people who do. But. Does that really mean that I would love my friends who drink any less? (You smokers – well, I love you, but we need to talk.)

We all wear signs – signs without letters and without words which say a lot more to those around us than we know, if their eyes are open to reading. Maybe my sign should say, “Don’t listen to the words I say. Look at the fear in my eyes. It’s just fear, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you or can’t cope or won’t try. Let me get over it. Let time prove me wrong. Don’t let go.”

Judgment. We all have it. But, we must see past what it seems. I’ll try not to shut you out with my judgement, if you’ll do the same for me…

beating

embroidered on sleeve:
-just looped thread, needled with steel-
the dye doesn’t bleed.

{the tonic}

Hayford Mills 316

coy brew of lilac
spiked with leaf lace. My chalice brims!
sip Spring’s elixir.

There’s a good chance I should have edited my FINGER out of the picture, but no; the photography is as down and dirty as the haiku/senryu, as is only proper, right? Right.

THIRTY MINUTES LATER UPDATE: I think I like this one better.

Potent potion. Sip
lasts frosts spiked with sparkling dew
deep draughts of springtime.

Okay, I need to quit writing these haiku/senryu things; I have dental appointments to make and boxes to pack. But, seriously, the spring storm roaring outside the window – the frost last night, the brief sun this morning – it all turned into a sap-green-shimmering muse.

Wow.

{less than you wanted, more than you had}

Things have been quiet around here, since Tech Boy has managed to have a monumental sick. Other people just have colds; no, he prefers to go straight to pneumonia, after denying there’s anything wrong for two weeks. It’s a rough moment in the world, for some reason; things are going wrong for quite a few friends, so here’s to making it through this week. Onward and upward.

Hayford Mills 349

who says the happy
bird must be blue? I hear the
Pigeons come closer.

After being aggravated by them for so long, now it makes me laugh to hear their stupid claws scrabbling on the window… but, the pigeons are here to help! Eventually, they will do… something. Other than make piles of bird doody by the front door…

Cranberry Orange Marmalade 3

what’s for dinner

cauldron bubbles: toil,
troubles. Not victuals we wish.
But edible still.

{strange passions}

Stirling Castle T 13

slow-flowing sap, rise
and bedeck reluctant twigs.
Mute passion runs deep.

One thing I like about poetry in general and haiku in particular is that it’s useful to talk about things which no one but the poet understands. I often feel that way reading Mary Oliver; something must have sparked that MOMENT for her, and she writes something which nevertheless appeals to the reader and touches them deeply, but we – poet and reader – have two very different experiences going on. I guess it’s that way for all writing; the reader/writer interaction is never the same.