{sister moon}

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I’d go out of my mind, but for you.

When I was a kid, I read a rather sentimental book called Never Miss a Sunset. I can’t remember what it was about exactly, so this tells you how life-changing the whole experience was for me, but what I do remember is that it was a pioneer tale of some sort (of which I read many, many, many) and Pa (there’s always a Pa, except if you’re a Boxcar child, and then there’s not) wanted the family to gather and make sure and see the sunset — no matter how much work or worry piled on. And so, the title of the book, at least, has stuck with me. And the concept is good.

In Scotland, we never miss a moonrise. We look out and see if there’s visible sky, and proceed from there. We’ve photographed every full moon we’ve been able to see here, which is maybe four in three years. (It could be that the fog clears or the rain stops after we’re asleep and we’re missing photo ops, but, well, one has to sleep…) The city has so much ambient lighting that we never think we’ll get a good shot — and then we do.

This hour, I’m awake, while most of my friends and family are asleep. But it’s the same moon. The only moon. So, we’re closer than we think.

{lucid dreaming}

I love having smart friends. One of my newest is Dr. Lee McClain, author and professor at Seton Hill University in Pennsylvania. She invited me to address her MFA class yesterday – which was a privilege and an honor for me.

They were fun. They were hilarious. They were brilliant and did not mind my use of the nonword “geekitude.” They also got that I named Octavia in Mare’s War after author, Octavia Butler, of blessed memory. How much do I love people who figure out my silent tributes?

It was lovely, but Lee’s class was an evening class in Pennsylvania… which meant it was a verrrry earrrrrrly morning class for me at Greenwich Mean – along the lines of 2 a.m…

…which means I am sitting here… staring. Everything is a moving picture or a dream, a thought that is at the edge of my consciousness, not coming through. I am waiting for my brain to catch up with my fingers… and it’s not happening.

So, let’s look at pretty pictures instead of writing right now, shall we?

Fruit Scones

Been baking a bit lately. Apparently these scones were “gorgeous,” which is high praise from a Scot. Did you know that scones aren’t English at all, but Scottish and Irish? I had no idea.

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Last night we had our first hard frost, and I suspect this rose is no longer this lovely, but day before yesterday, it was gorgeous. In the little classroom garden by the Gaelic school, sunflowers and red poppies are still growing. Sunflowers. In Glasgow. I salute those kids’ faith that the sun will come out… eventually. Maybe they grew them as a science experiment? Hypothesis: Sunflowers will actually grow without the presence of sun…

Most of you by now know that the Vatican has determined, for reasons best left to television producers and lots of watching Simpson’s reruns, that Bart Simpson is a Catholic.

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Glasgow’s done him one better. Glasgow declares that he speaks Gaelic. From my non-existent grasp of Scots Gaelic, I believe this says the ubiquitous, “Don’t have a cow, man.”

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This city is FULL OF BAD PUNS. Of course, that shop is next door to a pub called Fanny Trollope’s. Which isn’t a pun, but which sounds as if it’s the punch line in a ribald joke.

I am still often laughed at by cab drivers. They make remarks about me living here, rather than in “sunny California,” and I shrug. Yes. It rains here. A lot. When it isn’t freezing or sleeting or foggy. Sometimes it does all four at once, which means It Is Bad. But usually, it’s just a bit of rain, which is doable. Rain occasionally makes things unbeautiful — squalor shows itself to be yet more squalid when it is wet and squicky — but you can never truly be surrounded by ugliness when there are trees changing colors, bizarrely bright dye jobs, steampunk inspired outerwear, and train stations.

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Below is Glasgow’s Central Station. I love its sort of Art Deco light fixtures and just the overall airiness of the place. Victoria Station in London reminded me of this place, only Glasgow is even brighter. I look up every time I go there to catch a train – and count the birds which swoop in and make themselves at home there. People watching at the train station(s) is one of my favorite things — unless I’m having to run for a platform. Then I am just annoyed and trying not to run anyone over.

Glasgow Central 18

Even when I’m so tired my eyes are burning, there’s much to like in the world, including this post at Chasing Ray’s What A Girl Wants series, contributed to by a number of female authors on what made them want to scream during their teen years. Powerlessness and being ignored. Being overlooked, having secrets kept from us. Having our bodies out of control and used against us — these were a few of our least favorite things. And we raged.And we grew. And we survived. All hail the riot grrlz.. Never let rage destroy you.

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And here’s to you, moving through your days, seeking your goals and pushing past weariness to get things done. And also, here’s to taking naps when needed.

{i wouldn’t change her story}

The Problem of Fiction

by Marie Ponsot

She always writes poems. This summer
she’s starting a novel. It’s in trouble already.
The characters are easy—a girl
and her friend who is a girl
and the boy down the block with his first car,
an older boy, sixteen, who sometimes
these warm evenings leaves his house to go dancing
in dressy clothes though it’s still light out.
The girl has a brother who has lots of friends,
is good in math, and just plain good which
doesn’t help the story. The story
should have rescues & escapes in it
which means who’s the bad guy; he couldn’t be
the brother or the grandpa or the father either,
or even the boy down the block with his first car.
People in novels have to need something,
she thinks, that it takes about
two hundred pages to get.

Read the rest of this poem here. There’s biting in it.

As a girl who bit (accidentally. Oh, come on. Honest. I didn’t mean to… much) the first boy I really, really liked, this one resonates for me.

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Don’t these girls look like they’re characters in a story? I had so many questions as I passed. I wonder what happened next.

It’s just that time of year, where I am writing like mad, and reading like mad, and trying to make it all balance out. I love taking part in the Kidlitosphere, and being part of the Cybils community is important to me, but every year I think, “Can I do this again?” and I get just the tiniest bit frantic as I try to make it all pan out. But I’m in it – and I’m reading – and I’m writing like crazy. We’ll see what happens.

Poetry Friday today is brought to you by CAKE, polka dots, and the letter three, and can be found at Liz in Ink.

{ocean, autumn, & ethel}

Last weekend, I took a train ride down to the coast to see a friend. On the way there, I practically pressed my nose to the window, taking in the sun on the hills, watching the sea.

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I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by…
…And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

Oddly enough, there’s not much fall color here, not yet. The tops of the trees are yellowy gold, but down below, there’s still green, green, green. We’ve had our first frost, but it hasn’t changed much; since it rained all summer and on into autumn, true cold hasn’t had too much of a chance to take hold yet. But, it’s getting there.

This is the time of year it’s always hard to be away from home. I miss what autumn looks like. Though it’s probably been on overkill since the third week in September – or earlier – I imagine there are autumnal displays: pumpkins, mums, scarecrows, bales of hay; the inevitable stupid skeletons or tissue paper ghosts. Fortunately, there’s no Halloween here – it’s an American holiday. (No: I don’t like Halloween. Yes: I love dressing up. No: I hate doing it when a.] I’m supposed to b.] when everyone else does c.] with such uninspired, generic outfits. Let’s just all wear steampunk on the fourth Tuesday of every month and our Victorian bustles every Wednesday. But not because Hallmark tells us to.) Unfortunately, there’s no Thanksgiving, either – also because of that American-holiday thing.

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I love these Oreo cows! Actually, my vet friends say they’re Belted Galloways. I don’t know – I see cookies.

I’m grumpy about that because this is the third year I will have had to suffer through my life without Tootsie Rolls, but I think I’ll survive. My teeth probably thank me. I only eat about one of them a year, but the fact that they don’t have them in Scotland, and it’s a Halloween candy immediately makes me think I need some. That, and candy corn. Insane, no? Two overly sweet, disgusting candies that people otherwise don’t bother eating, but I have insane cravings for them this time of year, just like I jones for candy canes in December – also not something they eat here. Strange, strange world – separated by a common love for sugar, and a complete inability to stock what I want in the store. Le sigh.


There’s happy writing news: One, on Tuesday my agent got my latest manuscript. And for all you nice people who were so encouraging: it’s the science fiction book! I had to finish it BEFORE I started my Cybils reading, so I wouldn’t be unduly influenced, but it’s done, and it’s out of the house, and boy I am relieved.

It finally happened! My friend Ethel is having a book! (That’s kind of like she’s having a baby, only I already met her when her youngest was a a newborn. That kid’s in school already. Sheesh, grad school is disappearing in my life’s rearview mirror.) Her very first book – CUT THROUGH THE BONE — is a book she suffered through writing when I was suffering through writing mine last winter, so I kind of feel an even deeper kinship through her whole process. I’m a bit jealous that HERS is coming out a full year in advance of mine, but WHATEV, you know? (That’s the difference between short stories and novels – short stories seem to have more immediacy.) It sounds like it’s going to be all kinds of intensely beautiful and heart-wrenching and affecting and wonderful.

From the publisher:

In this stripped-raw debut collection, Ethel Rohan’s thirty stories swell with broken, incomplete people yearning to be whole. Through tight language and searing scenarios, Rohan brings to life a plethora of characters — exposed, vulnerable souls who are achingly human.

She got jacket copy from one of the artists in residence at our school during our grad program. I am thoroughly impressed.

I’ll never forget meeting Ethel – I saw her as this sweet-faced, quiet Irish girl with a lilting voice — who wrote the most shocking, hilarious, impossible stories. Somehow I expected her writing to be serene and quiet and attractive — like she is. And sometimes they were. But sometimes her stories were bruised, gritty, dirty, bloody, and tear-stained. And real. So, so, real.

Ethel’s voice gives me courage. Read her book, okay? You might take courage, too.

Great Cumbrae Island 26

{Far Too Far, Too Fast}

Paper Dolls 1.3

Despite the paper-doll making, I don’t have kids.

Wanted to get that out in the open first: I don’t have kids. This is a kid-centric train of thought here, and I probably have no real right to my opinion on this topic, but guess what? I’m going with my opinion anyway. And boy howdy, right now do I have an OPINION.

Be advised: this is a teensy, tiny rant. 👿

As some of you might know, I was a classroom instructor for six years – first for the state of California, later at a private school for kids with learning disabilities. When I was working for the state, all of my students were a.) incarcerated, and most were b.) way, way, WAY behind where they should have been grade-wise, based on truancy. I had a lot of 1:1 remedial work I needed to do with them, in order to get them on track.

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I read aloud to them – to seventeen-year-olds who were pimply and hulking with great big adam’s apples (who still managed to whine occasionally as if they were seven. This may, or may not have something to do with the fact that I don’t have kids. Hmm.). We did art projects, which gave them a break from struggling so hard to do work conventionally expected for students their age (and you have not really lived until you’ve heard the whining over having to do a diorama from someone who usually tags freeway overpasses – some inspired ranting there), we watched movies, to compare and contrast cinema vs. books, and we did board work, to break up the monotony and isolation of having that great blank stretch of lined paper before them. Basically, we did everything but have circle time and finger paint, because they didn’t get a childhood, and that’s what they needed first, before I could hope to cram their heads full of subjects and predicates and dates and names and quadratic equations. Replay: Third Grade, the Sequel. Now, With More Hormones!

Some of the books we read would have been considered well below par. We read things with pictures. We colored. We acted like little kids. But the goal was learning, and I think I can say that those kids learned. A couple of them that I know of beat the system, got away from their pasts and went on to graduate high school and find a happier life.

Which is why it was just shatteringly disappointing to me to read this piece on the decline of picture books in the NY Times today.

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Anyone in publishing has known for some time that picture books have had a terrible time finding a market in the last five years as the economy has wobbled and people’s play money has diminished in turn. Editors warned writers, and agents wrung their hands as they tried to sell them. The fact is, picture books are fairly expensive — a forty-word hardback with gorgeous illustrations can run you between $18-$25. The second fact is, we don’t value childhood as we should in this country, we don’t value children, and the idea of paying “that much for just a baby book,” galled some people, and they wouldn’t do it.

Intellectually, monetarily, unfortunately: I get that.

What I don’t get, is crud like this: “Now Laurence is 6 ½, and while he regularly tackles 80-page chapter books, he is still a “reluctant reader,” Ms. Gignac said.

Sometimes, she said, he tries to go back to picture books.

“He would still read picture books now if we let him, because he doesn’t want to work to read,” she said, adding that she and her husband have kept him reading chapter books.”

::expression of wordless horror:: 😡

CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT, HERE? The kid has been on this earth six and a half years. Can we give him a second or two to, say, figure out where he is before we attach him to the choke chain of what he SHOULD be doing??? Isn’t it bad enough when people do that to us??

10.22.10, EDITED TO ADD ~ Amanda Gignac was quoted out of context in the New York Times. Please read her explanation here, and hat tip to her good friend, Jodie, who sent the word along.

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I had no idea that this pushing and shoving of the young child was the reason picture book sales have slumped, (and to be honest, I still have no idea if this is at all true. The NY Times has cited a few people, but I’d really love to hear from more than the small selection of teachers and booksellers.), but it’s a ridiculous reason. What is the rush, really? To where are these types of parents pushing their children? We can’t speed up time — so it’s not like six and a half is going to be seven or seventeen one whit faster with a parent shoving Stuart Little down their six-year-old’s throat.

Jen Haller, the vice president and associate publisher of the Penguin Young Readers Group, said that while some children were progressing to chapter books earlier, they were still reading picture books occasionally. “Picture books have a real comfort element to them,” Ms. Haller said. “It’s not like this door closes and they never go back to picture books again.”

That is, not unless Mom and Dad aren’t barring the door…

The world spins faster and faster, and after awhile, people feel like they’re going to fly off. Even kids. Especially kids. It disturbs me to think that an adult would be immune to the idea that a child could feel stressed. Maybe we could cut them some slack? Let them read what they want?

This is always going to be a big deal with me. I was force-fed nonfiction and I longed to escape reality like gee whiz and desperately, and every time people talk about parental pressure and all of this, I get twitchy, even though I know very well it’s one of those Get People Panicking tactics – most parents are perfectly happy to let their kids read whatever, and are just glad they’re reading. I know that. And, I know my parents meant well – in spite of how I loathed having my reading choices reduced. But I just cannot agree with pushing a kid forward so fast – especially not merely for reasons of producing a smarter, faster, keep-up-with-the-Jones’ kid.

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The drive to get ahead is a corrupted reflex left over from what we once believed was the American dream. Everyone was supposed to dig and dig and work and pull themselves up by their collective bootstraps. The thing is, this competitive strap yanking produces, in my teaching experience, unhappy, tense and very resentful children. I know their parents love them and don’t intend that. I know it. And yet, from my lofty childless vantage point, I just keep thinking, “Dudes: Ur doin it rong.” I just wish I could lead them to a seat, push their child into their arms and hand them a picture book. “Here,” I’d say. “See what your child thinks of this one. This is their time, after all.”

We can’t stop the world, or get out of the rat race entirely, but slow and steady means you — and the kids for whom you’re responsible — get there sane.

{cosmic notations}

Periodically, my life enters the Twilight Zone. Or, in this case, the Goldilocks Zone.

You’ve heard about it, by now. The planet twenty lightyears away, which has a good potential for human habitation. One paper described it as the “Goldilocks” planet — not too hot, not too cold, just right to support life.

The Gliese star has been known for awhile; NASA identified it way back in 2007 or earlier. The big news now is that they found a planet orbiting the star that is tidally locked to the sun (weird to think of galactic, system-wide tides!) — one side always in the light, one side always in the dark, and the strip down the middle – a temperate zone habitable by humans. Just like the moon only shows one face to the Earth, the little planet will always show one face to the star.

This is good news. Especially since I picked Gliese 581c out of NASA’s website as a place to base a fictional Earth colony I started writing about in December of 2008. It seemed like a reasonably close place for humanity to explore and colonize after the Moon.

I have written sixty thousand words on this story since January… getting to know all about that red star, and imagining what life would be like with a pink sky. And eventually, we might know.

The coincidence both thrills and amazes me …and slightly freaks me out.